Saturday, August 13, 2005

18+ hours behind where I need to be

I am on page 18 of chapter 4.
I have skimmed at least 15 papers and countless abstracts
and added references covering all but 4 paragraphs of these 18 pages
I almost feel like I know something.
And I am at a point where I am writing that last 8-10 paragraphs.

I have taken five naps today - twice woken by cats - twice woken by My Guy, once woken by self
I am totally blocking on what to show in figure 4.2
I either show too much or not enough. Everyone hates a busy figure. (I sound like I am talking about dress shopping for the prom.)

I had something to eat every half hour:
A bowl of strawberries
countless sesame seed candies
a chicken taquito
french bread
french bread with salmon pate
french bread with swiss cheese
jordan almonds
a big dr. Pepper
a bowl of soba noodles
veggie potstickers
a bowl of raspberries
a pepsi
and
more of everything

I had me a chat with BBFK. I loves me some chat with BBFK.

Recorded with JE at WEFT.
JE is funny, very patient, kind, and tolerant.
If he offers to record you, take him up on it.
The word is *choke* for three hours on disk. *sigh*
I could not get through "Love My Dog" to save my life.
And I did try and try and try and try.
The truth is that I am two years of steady playing away from any recording or performing that is worth anyone's time.

N called me twice and I didn't pick up either time because I loves me some chat but with the exception of rare people these days I get antsy if I am not in motion. (or blogging =P)

Had a beer at the Pig.
Ran into people who I will probably not see again.
Some of whom I assumed were not speaking to me.
And actually we didn't know what to say to each other.
I felt like a hen in a foxhouse.
Because I am paranoid and my imagination gets away from me. I have my reasons.
I should have found a gracious way to back out and go home.
My brain was tar.

There are many nice people who will breathe a sigh of relief to see me leave town because nice as they may be, some points of view are irreconcilable. And some things said cannot be taken back.
I should have given them hugs.
Because I miss them right now and will miss them when I leave and because it makes no sense to do otherwise.

For many days I have been thinking about what I will miss when I leave. But today I think about why I look forward to it.
It's a fine mental exercise to look on the bright side.

"The long december gives us reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last."
-Counting Crows

(sometimes the long august does too.)

3 comments:

MomVee said...

Go, ergo, go.
Disco Inferno!

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Damn, you really KNOW how to eat when you have writer's cramp. I just eat crap in those situations....you've had enough food for 3.5 very yummy meals... ;)
And it's *always* a treat to catch up with you, babe....

ergo said...

Momvee: *laughs* Now I feel like I need to dig up a terry cloth headband. Thanks for the encouragement!

BBFK: 3.5 meals a day. Isn't that the writer's guild dietary recommendation? ; )