Sunday, December 30, 2012

Shilla on a Saturday

Step out of the F train at the 34th street stop and head to the exit at 32nd to the North East.  When you get out and cross the street you will find yourself in Korea Town (K-Town).  It's one block of 32nd street, between Broadway and 5th Ave.  It's mostly Korean restaurants and Karaoke joints, a Korean book store, a Korean grocery store.  This block of 32nd is the epicenter, there is a spill over of places in a 2 block radius of it.

Yesterday, JK was in the mood for Korean, so we met at Shilla, 37 West 32nd Street (shillanyc.com), near the corner of Broadway and 32nd on the north side.  The facade is glass with two doors.  Three people will greet you as you enter the restaurant.  One of them is a gentleman in a suit who, if he sees you standing outside the restaurant, will wave and beckon you in.  He might come outside to talk with you about the menu and the very excellent food as his restaurant.

It was raining yesterday and they have this contraption that will wrap your umbrella in a skinny plastic bag so that you can carry it with you into the restaurant without tracking water all over the place.  Brilliant.

We were seated in the back and had immediate opinions on what to get.  JK wanted Pork Belly BBQ.  And I wanted Pajun, a giant pancake.  In addition we after much discussion settled on getting Kalbi Tang a beef soup.  The waitress persuaded us to upgrade to the Spicy Marinated Pork Belly.

They brought out many banchan, impressive in number, mostly just okay.  The notable exception to this was a seaweed kimchi made from miyeok, which was excellent, spicy, a la dente, with a hint of the ocean.  Their kimchi was serviceable but pretty mild.  JK asked for an order of Radish Kimchi, Kkakdugi, which was a significant improvement, crunchy and spicy.

The pajun was greasy, crispy, and filling.  We ate half and I took the other half home.  Today it's a whole different animal.  Possibly because I generally like food the day after but also perhaps because I was hungover this morning.  Pajun is the perfect hangover food.  It has carbs, grease, squid and it's crispy with a soft center.  I think the day after the oil has more time to seep in.  It's not as light.  It's heartier with appropriate substance.

They kindly offered to cook the Pork Belly for us.  We didn't want to smell of cooked meat, but of course everyone around us was bbq'ing at the table so we ended up smelling like cooked meat anyway.  Getting it spicy marinated was an excellent suggestion.  It was thinly sliced, tender, fatty, meaty, spicy, and a little bit sweet, especially at the points where the slices charred a little.

The Kalbi Tang was a big bowl of comfort.  The broth was clear and fatty but not too fatty, salty but not too salty, with enormous tender hunks of beef the size of a fist and some thinly sliced daikon radish.

They brought us three bowls of rice.  A nice touch for a table of two people.

The restaurant offered up a bonus round for their diners.  At some point they brought out a big tray of small panfried whole fishes.  Everyone in the restaurant got one.   It was lightly battered and fried to a crisp, the length of my hand.  I was too full to eat it yesterday but reheated it and had it today.  Bony but satisfying, just salty enough, firm fleshed and while oily, not too fishy.  And the tail and fins had an excellent crunch.

As I was reducing it to a pile of tiny bones, I realized that I am not a big fan of fish in filet form.  But if you pass me a plate with the whole fish, head to tail, it's a real delight.  Even if navigating the bones is perilous.

My father told me that as a kid, when the family had fish, his brother got the tail and he got the head.  He said that the head was delicious.  The best part.  I always laughed at a child at my silly father.  I doubted him but I had no way of knowing.  How does the head of a fish taste?  Today, having eaten as much of the head as I could discern to be digestible, I would agree that a lightly battered, pan fried fish head is indeed delicious.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Not a pixie

Last Saturday I got a pretty drastic haircut.  10 inches of hair were separated from my head.  I did this despite much concern from loved ones and a comment from a guy who said, "No man wants to be with a girl with really short hair."

I wanted it short.  What I mean by short is this:



But no, I did not end up with this haircut.  I went with a short round bob sort of like the fabricant hairdo from Cloud Atlas.  Except without the bangs.



It's only been two weeks.  The jury is out on whether a man wants to be with a girl with short hair.  It could be the short hair.  Or the fact I have been sick and grumpy.  Or the fact that I rarely go out and mostly hang out with lady people at wine bars.

If it does turn out to be true, I am okay with that.  I am in a seahorse phase right now, sort of bobbing along in the ocean alone, as described in the "Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing."  It hasn't really changed the way that I interact with the world in a noticeable way.  I like the idea that it will narrow the field down to the one single guy in NYC who likes 40 something, short, goofy, round faced, apple shaped chicks with short hair who wear glasses.  Whoever he is, I'll bet he's the coolest.
"Some enchanted evening
 You may see a stranger
 You may see him standing
 Across a crowded room"
      -Oscar Hammerstein II, South Pacific

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Done

I was feeling blue today.  While chatting with CK, I jokingly listed out what I have accomplished today:

-I have almost finished a bottle conditioner
-I finished the other half of a peanut butter cookie
-I bought an intro to Spanish CD set
-I brushed my teeth this morning.

This cheered me up.  Immensely.  I have no idea why.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Telling stories: Why I will probably never be invited to give a TED talk

I was waiting in line for a drink with AD and I said, "I started drinking whiskey recently.  It makes me taciturn, angry and unable to sleep, so I will probably stop."

He paused and then started laughing at me for telling the shortest story in the world.  X. Y. Z.

Totally fair.

As a child I wanted to grow up to be so many things.  A ballerina.  A janitor.  A school teacher.  An archaeologist.  A historian.  A doctor.  A biologist.  An activist.  A mountain climber.  A jockey.  A pioneer.  A vet.  A mother.  A rockstar.  An actress.  A member of G-Force.  A figure skater.  Eliza Bennet.  Laura Ingalls Wilder.  The list goes on and on.  A writer.

I wanted to write stories.  Didn't write any.  I just wanted to.  Much later in life, I tried my hand at Nanowrimo and discovered that I suck at fiction.  In much the same way I cannot tell a joke to save my life, there was a reason that I never wrote stories, I don't know how.

I would go to write-ins where other people would talk about their plot and how the characters were taking on a life of their own and how much they enjoyed it.  This did not happen to me.  I found myself desperately trying to either figure out how ducks quack so that I could write about quacking ducks convincingly or stealing observations and ideas and snippets and thoughts and conversations from the day to day of my life as it was happening.  If I had a tuna sandwich, so did the characters in my novel.

It was devastating.

Even so, I sign up for Nanowrimo almost every year and I have never finished.  The first time, I finished the word count but not the story.  Since then it's been a boulevard of abandoned word documents.  I considered reading about tropes to see if I could use a bunch of tropes to choke out a story.  They apparently only come in a few flavors.  November is right around the corner and I will try yet again this year.

Maybe I will string together a series of uninteresting and very, very short stories like:

He was going to go to the movies but then felt a sore throat coming on and decided to stay home.  The End.

She wanted a milkshake really badly so she went to McDonald's and got one.  The End.

Again and again for 50,000 words.  An uninteresting book that even I would not read but I will try to write.

The line that keeps coming back to me from Mansion Con

This is a paraphase/misquote: 

"She decided to take awkward lemons and make awkward lemonade."

Professional Charm

If the men of New York were as charming as her waiters and bartenders, I would fall in love and have my heart broken, every second of every day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Pursuit of Happiness?

Facebook, why am I the last to hear about this:

"In terms of happiness, sex is better than money, and having sex once a week instead of once a month is the "happiness equivalent" of an extra $50,000 a year."

And why did I not hear of it from you?

I heard tell of it from Benjamin Jackson's talk at Ignite NYC 15.

Intriguing.  I would like to see the study that this observation comes from.  I am sure there must be caveats to this conclusion.

I cannot help but assume that earning an extra $50,000 would make a person a lot happier.  But having never earned an extra $50,000 I can only imagine.  I can only hope that this was a part of the experiment/study.  In reading about this, my first question is about how happy the money makes you as opposed to the sex.  Then again, it might explain why I look back fondly on my grad school years despite the pittance that I was making back then.

The "intimate lifestyle product designer" (I heart this euphemism) Lelo created a poster in the same vein on the beneficial-ness of getting it on: http://www.graphs.net/201209/impact-of-sex-on-career-and-health.html

Although one would think that the pleasure gained would be enough in itself and other justifications or reinforcements would not be necessary or surprising.

Seeing these two pieces a week or two ago might have affected a decision made this past weekend.

The counter balance to all this sex and happiness is stumbling on an article in the New Yorker entitled: "The Rise of Drug-Resistant Gonorrhea."  New York Magazine not mincing words summarized the story: "Super Gonorrhea Here to Ruin Blow Jobs Forever"

Plus, it's probably not enough to have more sex.  It probably also needs to be good sex.

So if you decide to pursue happiness, do it respectfully, lovingly, safely, and with gusto, Kids.

Typo of the Day

The typo of the day was to type "Friend" instead of "Fried."

I had friend chicken for lunch.  I love friend chicken.  I spend a lot of time thinking about friend chicken.  Friend chicken is not always kind to me.  Sometimes it give me chest pains.  Sometimes it causes me to feel a sharp ache in my side, probably my gall bladder protesting.  But I still love it, the friend chicken.

Reading the above makes me feel like a puritan with an unhealthy fixation on poultry.

Yes, I know based on the previous blog post that the friend chicken and I ought to part ways.  What.  I took two leftover pieces home with me.  Those of us from the Year of the Dog are loyal.  We do not abandon our friends.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Commuter Courtesy

I have had two ideas in my head for a while.  The first is Sunday dinner and the second is Karaoke Brunch.

I tried to set up my very first Karaoke Brunch today.  It was a spur of the moment thing and it was a party of two.  JK and I.  The notice was too short.  And I have been having very bad luck with putting together social outings of late.  But hey, for an only child a party of two is a par-tay.

We met at Craft Bar.  Had brunch and then relocated to bellow out some songs.  We drove people out of the bar.  I felt a little bit bad about this.  But what can you do.  If you go to a karaoke bar for drinks, it's likely that you will be surrounded by people who sing.  If you want drinks without karaoke, go to a different kind of bar.  Wine bar, Sports bar, Dive bar, Tapas bar.  Really the options are endless.

And because JK is on the verge of a juice fast she was plotting her last meal pre-fast.  She wanted to go to the Bobwhite Lunch and Supper Counter.  It was delicious.  Their fried chicken is quite good.  The sides are also very good.  The staff was friendly and cool.  The tunes were good.

Then we got dessert.  Pecan Pie Bread pudding with a salted caramel sauce and whipped cream topping.  It was so good.  But I was stuffed to the gills by this point.

We walked a bit, stomachs uncomfortably full - to the point of bursting.

I got on a very crowded F train and a woman insisted that I take her seat.  "I can tell that you're pregnant," she said, so very kindly.  I was mortified and too embarrassed to confess the truth.  That it's a biological impossibility.  That I have not been visited by an angel, a swan, or a bull.  I mean it's possible that she knows something that I don't and I am carrying some immaculately conceived human inside me.  But Occam's razor suggest that it's more likely that I am carrying the result of eating too much food in a seven hour period.

This is the third time someone has offered me their seat on the train in the past week.  I was puzzled at this but had no idea that it was because of my big belly.  Mortifying.  I texted JK about this and her reply was "You are giving birth to a chicken baby!"  My friends.  So supportive.

So I need to: 
1. stop wearing miniskirts and the like
2. start wearing mumus
3. exercise
4. diet
5. stop eating fried chicken
6. make a t-shirt with a circle around my belly that is labelled "Not a Baby"

And hang my head in shame.  When I got up from my seat to exit the train, I put my hand on my back and leaned back a little bit to try to keep up the pretense of a pregnancy.  I should have just confessed to my sins.

Alternately, I could eat more fried chicken ("I'm eating for two.") and be unscrupulous.  See if people will also let me cut in line.  "Move aside people, pregnant lady coming through!"  See if I can consistently get people to offer me their seat on the train or the bus.  See if people will help me carry heavy things up the subway steps.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Happy to Make Your Acquaintance

I think I have finally gotten enough sleep.  I am giddy for some unknown reason.  I cannot explain it.  I woke up thinking that I really like the people who I know.

I tried to put on a face of makeup and probably look like a pink faced clown.  I had a bowl of cereal and brought snacks to work.

The sun is shining.  I am planning to spend too much money on lunch.  I am unable to write or speak coherently and I am slightly obsessed with the cheesy Daniel Powter song "Had a Bad Day."  which one would think would make me gloomy but it does not.

It's not even noon yet.  So things could turn.  But it's been a while.  So it seems like this inexplicable moment deserved a post.


Saturday, October 13, 2012

The kindness of strangers

The hotel staff left me a note wishing me "Alles gutte zum geburtstag" along with a box of peanuts and a split of brut.  Which is a little strange.   I don't recall mentioning my birthday at any time to anyone at the hotel.  Besides which, my birthday was almost 2 weeks ago.

That being said, when I shake off my jaded, skeptical and suspicious layers, I will admit that it was a pleasant surprise.  Ever so sweet.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Me, Getting Bitchier by the Minute

I used to have a lot of ideas.  I was and am in love with ideas.

But I now see that having an idea and finding a way to make it happen are two very different things.

The theory is of limited help in the execution.  The execution is the hard part.  You get smacked in the face by reality and the unexpected and unanticipated all the time.

Sometimes you can focus on the big things and let the little ones slide.  The itty bitty gritty details.  Some details are your preference, your ego, your attachment to, or your neurosis about what you are doing.  They are a flourish that does not actual progress your plan.  The sooner you let go of them or determine the sufficient benchmark, the better.

But often very small things, minor things that seem hardly to matter can undo and derail you.  Bring your work to a screeching halt.  It's not always clear how to distinguish the two types of details - how to identify the priority, outside of error and accident.

You can't watch everything.  You can't watch everyone.  You can't do everything.  You can't anticipate everything.  Still, the more of the operational, progressing stuff that you can nail down, the more energy and attention you will have to deal with the unexpected shit that comes flying at you fast and furious.  You can focus on what is necessary.

If the shit does not fly, so much the better.  You can relax and enjoy.

When things do go askew, I do not give two shits whose fault it is.  That is a waste time, energy and emotion.  Time, energy and emotion better spent fixing it/solving it.

Identifying blame is insufficient to the action of the moment and, hey, shit happens, there are inevitable slips and glitches.  The effort spent covering your ass and not pitching in, speaks volumes.

If the problem is recurrent or of a significant severity, it could be an indication of a deeper underlying issue that needs to be addressed there might be the need for an explanation and understanding of what happened as a first step towards either solving the problem or readjusting your approach.  If it is a sign that the whole project is irretrievably flawed, it is worth discussing whether to abandon it.

But in the moment, with the task at hand, let's set that and any accompanying emotion aside and just get the damn thing done.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

My Penultimate Goal in Life

I have to keep reminding myself that penultimate does not mean: even more ultimate than the most ultimate thing that you could ever imagine.  It actually means: next to last.  Penultimate describes a place in ordering from first to last and does not appear to have other qualitative meanings or connotations.

According to dictionary.reference.com the word Ultimate has the following definitions:

1. last; furthest or farthest; ending a process or series: the ultimate point in a journey; the ultimate style in hats.
2. maximum; decisive; conclusive: the ultimate authority; the ultimate weapon.
3. highest; not subsidiary: ultimate goal in life.
4. basic; fundamental; representing a limit beyond which further progress, as in investigation or analysis, is impossible: the ultimate particle; ultimate principles.
5. final; total: the ultimate consequences; the ultimate cost of a project.

Strictly speaking, there is nothing beyond what is the ultimate.  But if you want to aim for the great beyond, you could try describing something as: Ãœberultimate or Ultraultimate.

Friday, September 21, 2012

More of What You Want

Facebook will list all events that all of your friends are going to.

And I stumbled up on an engagement party.  It was meant to be an uberchill casual gathering at a bar and the invite said the following: "... if you really, really want to get us an engagement gift, our registry is: drinks."

Brilliant.  Love it.

Saturday, September 08, 2012

On the interestingness of people

"Overcoming adversity is what makes people interesting, not how much money they have. People without at least a few skeletons in the closet are often shallow as a puddle." - Stacy Johnson

I am not entirely sure that I agree but it's an interesting idea.

Stacy Johnson tells me that I have a lot of misconceptions about money.

Having never had THAT much money, I will have to take his word for it.  On the other hand, maybe he's saying all of that to make me feel batter and withholding the fact that having that much money actually rocks the house.  

This is one of those situations where being cynical and naturally suspicious might not be working in my favor.

Early Birding

I met up with JY, ET and AR and had an early dinner at Mission Chinese Food NYC.  That's right Kids, the restaurant of my San Francisco dreams has opened a branch in the city where I live.  We ordered: Smashed Cucumbers in Garlic Sauce, Red Braised Pig Tails, Fresh Tofu Poached in Soy Milk, Salt Cod Fried Rice (of Course), Thrice Cooked Bacon, Mapo Tofu, and Sizzling Cumin Lamb Breast.

It was a mighty fine meal, after which I headed home and passed out at 8pm.  I cannot marshal together the words to describe my levels of food happy after this meal so I will not even try.

I woke again at 3am and have not been able to go back to sleep.  It was a solid 7 hours of sleep.  Yesterday MG told me that she had been up since 3am and unable to get back to sleep.  So she started working and had been very productive.  Perhaps a seed was planted at that point.

I am not sure that my time has been all that productive so far.  In this time, I have watched a couple of episodes of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

I had a cup of apple sauce.

I looked up how to guides on repairing the grout in your tile and how to seal the wall joints around the tub.  It looks pretty straightforward except for the part where you have to let it cure for 2 days and cannot use the shower.

I got a voucher to take a speed reading class and found a piece of online speed reading software, called spreeder.

I tried to read about Big Data, because LinkedIn told me to.

I pondered subscribing to Spotify.

I have played around with Mozilla Thimble.

I am starting to feel a little bit sleepy again, I blame the big data.

Friday, August 24, 2012

In the Wee Hours of the Morning

I know that chocolate cheerios exist.  But at one in the morning, I cannot help but think that cheerios need more than chocolate flavor.  They need chocolate syrup.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Attention Economy

I was a freer person before everyone became obsessed with the concept of an attention economy.

Monday, July 09, 2012

Television programming

"Man is not so religious all the time.  Even if he does all the prayers, it's only thirty minutes a day.  The rest of the time we eat, we work, we have sex, we have love.  Why would we make the station about religion, religion, religion all the time?"

-Hazem Ghorab (General Manager of Egypt 25, a channel established by members of the Muslim brotherhood, from Arab Summer by Peter Hessler, New Yorker, June 18, 2012

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Travels through space and time

I am home in St. Louis for Father's Day and to attend my high school reunion.  While here I decided to face my past and open three boxes from my past that are stowed in my parent's basement.

It's funny to see the contents of my hopes and aspirations laid out here.

To have curly hair.

To eat waffles.

To become a guitar God.

To play the piano.

To become multi-lingual.

To understand all sciences.

Funny enough, in my heart of hearts I find that some of my hopes and aspirations have not changed all that much.  I guess now is as good a time as any to play around with them again.  At least the more realistic ones.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Losing what I never had

I have this stupid instinct to wave at strangers who are waving at me.  Except that they are never waving at me. They are waving at other people.  It would be fine if they were standing with a crowd of strangers.  I could just pretend to be waving at someone else.  But I do not pretend, instead I lamely bring my hand down to my hair as if I had intended to fiddle with it but overshot by a mile.

Today my stupid instinct caused me not only to wave but to walk over to the handsome young Frenchman who was waving and beckoning to his mother.

I might have to get a tattoo on the inner part of my right arm that reads:
When a stranger waves at you:
1. Do not wave back.
2. Do not smile.
3. Ignore and go on with your business
4. If he's cute and age appropriate, look behind and around you.
    a. If there is someone behind or around you, see 1.
    b. If there is no one behind or around you, smile and then see 1.
It's not complicated.  I just always forget that I am not Jessica Alba and handsome strangers are not going to wave at me.

Untestable theories and love at first play

I have a suspicion that songs with simple chord progressions began with a riff or progression and that songs that started with the melody end up having a million chords or chord progressions that don't seem to follow simple patterns.

Examples:

Simon and Garfunkel's - America
(I am not convinced that this is quite the progression, but I think it's pretty close)

Queen's - Killer Queen

The Magnetic Field's - I Don't Believe You

Mind you, I have never tried to write a song on the piano.  It's possible that piano composition lends itself to writing songs with more than four chords.

But I do know that Stephin Merritt is dreamy.  With the line "So you quote love unquote me" I was hooked. Add to that fumbling my way through the song - call me a goner.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Hot Dawg

In general, I do not think about hot dogs.  I just eat them.  I scarf them down with lots of ketchup, some mustard and relish.  Sometimes with onions stewed in ketchup.  They are a quick means to an end.

There are exceptions that are dear to my heart:

I only eat them with sauerkraut, when my mother makes them.  I am not sure what she does but between the bay leaves, butter, bonito flakes and whatever else she tosses in there, magic happens.  But these dogs are eaten with rice, and not in a bun.

As a college kid, I ate chili cheese dogs from the WaWa to fuel my brain, feed my soul, and keep me company on lonely nerdy nights.

Besides these two instances, I have only noticed one hot dog in my entire life.  I was at Yankee Stadium with CK, her bf at the time and his best friend.  The Yankees were playing the Minnesota Twins.  I was not following the game but at some point, I was handed a hot dog and a packet of mustard.  Heaven.  Hot dog heaven.  I have not had a hot dog that comes even close to those hot dog heights.  Even on a return visit to Yankee Stadium, the dog did not compare.

Until now.

Yesterday I went to Dogmatic with the Fella.  Welcome to the next level in hotdoggery.  They have five kinds of sausage, six kinds of sauces and the most amazing bread.  Amazing Bread!!

Feel free to have your Beavis and Butthead moment during following:

They essentially poke a tunnel into half a baguette and stuff your sausage and sauce into the opening.  Making for a crunchy, saucy, sausage handful of deliciousness.  The sausage is a more than reasonable length.  The bread is so so good.

I had the chicken dog with truffle gruyere sauce.  The baguette held up surprisingly well for most of the meal, only springing a leak when I got to the last few inches of eating.

You might think that $5.50 is pricey for a hot dog.  It's a pretty substantial snack.  Perhaps you could even call it a meal.  The non-fried fries while being a good idea were so-so.  Not fried enough.  But perhaps cheese fries which are served with cheddar jalopeño sauce will have what it takes.  I will let you know after my next visit.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Too Much of the Voice pt. 5

JK and I texted each other while watching yesterday's episode and did the same today.  It was weird to rush home to watch something on TV as it was broadcast.  While we were not in the same room as it happened, it was weird to share the moment like this with someone in real time.  The last time I can recall doing such a thing was in 2008 when Obama was elected President.

I even attempted to tweet about the Voice a few times but I am rubbish at the Twitter.

When it was all over this one of our last exchanges -

JK: "Is your faith in humanity restored?"
Me: "It is."

I am sure that this feeling will not last. But at this moment, I feel like something very right happened.  So let's have chocolate cake for breakfast.

Jermaine Paul is the winner. He won the Voice!

They announced that he was the winner, they brought his family up on stage, they dropped confetti from the ceiling.  And then they handed him a mic and announced that he was going to sing a song.

(!?)  Really. Really?!

You take an emotional moment, the culmination of a long hard journey, the moment when you get the thing that you were striving so hard for, a moment where you want to laugh and cry.  Maybe you want to be alone to take it all in.  Maybe be with the ones you love.  Hug them and kiss them. Then someone sticks a camera on that scene.  Then they hand you a mic and insists that you sing. Have you ever tried to talk when crying and overcome with emotion? Have you ever tried to sing in that condition?

 WTF. That is beyond bananas. It's redonkey donkey.  I say go the beauty pageant route.  Let them cry, wave to the crowd and hug people with that crooked crown barely perched on the head.

At first he was a little shaky but then he started to sing. And then while singing while he hugged his family, friends and loved ones. He did both, he did it all. The only things he didn't do simultaneous with this are make an omelet, burp a baby and change a spark plug.  This is must be what separates the pros from mere mortals.

Perhaps it was part of the auditions before the Blinds.  They hit you with a hammer and then force you to sing "I Will Always Love You."

I did not know what to expect from the Finale.  I thought they would just show a bunch of clips from previous episodes, interview people and announce a winner. Maybe bring in established recording artists to perform their new single or an oldie or have a new artist sing their single.  There was a little of that.  Only a little.

Instead, they had a great big grand old singing jamboree / contestant reunion.

"I Want You Back" Jermaine, Jamar, James, and Pip were a smash. It was as if they had been singing together forever. Seamlessly smooth, matching outfits and choreography.

"Bittersweet Symphony" Chris, Lindsay and Katrina were compelling and enjoyable.  So interesting.  It was a strange trio to bring together but it worked.  That particular mix kept them all sharp.  A nice turn away from Schmaltzville which vocally is probably due to Lindsay.  Surprisingly, they had pretty good blend and performance-wise were very integrated on stage.  I attribute this to Chris.  He seemed really attuned to Lindsay and Katrina while up there.

"With a Little Help from My Friends" Juliet, RaeLynn, Erin, and Jamar had a Voltron moment. Four strong singers came together and created an invincible performance without losing what made them each so unique. Soul, country, rock, soldier, sister, brother, friend.  They seemed to sing and individually really well. And I loved seeing Jamar onstage a second time rocking his red jacket.

"Superstition" Kim, Cheesa, Sera and Naia had a diva-off. Actually it was more of a diva-fest. When Kim Yarbrough was preparing for her battle round Whitney Myer, she asked her advisors how she should handle herself on a stage that she was sharing with another performer. Robin Thicke told her to be respectful and feel the love. And that is how the performance felt. It felt like an showcase of amazing singers and a celebration of a fabulous Stevie Wonder song.

"Go Your Own Way" Jordis and Tony were two seasoned veterans sharing the stage. I was happy to see Jordis again but their vocal ranges are not compatible. Jordis was singing too low in her range to have enough control and Tony was really pushing the upper part of his range.  Also, they had no blend.  I sympathize.  I am a singer who rarely blends.  But if you add the right third voice to the mix and all kinds of magic can happen, trust me.  The addition of Gwen Sebastian or Angel Taylor or Lex Land or the Shields Brothers would have smoothed out that mix into something very listenable.  That or have them do "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around."  That song would have killed.  If fact, I want to hear them do that.

Everyone should sing a song with the Shields Brothers. I would watch a TV show where the episodes consist of all the other contestants on the Voice performing duets with the Shields Brothers. Well, maybe not a whole show but I would definitely subscribe to a Shields Brothers duets channel on youtube.  I would pay good money to see the Shields Brothers do a duet with Lindsay.  It's hard to imagine how it would work but it would probably be worth hearing.  She would make them sound less conventional and they would subvert the Pavao process and give it a wink and some zip.

It was great to see singers free to cross team lines and perform together.  Much respect to the musical producers/directors for this episode and the show as a whole and to the band.  Wow.

But I digress. I could digress further.  And I may on a future occasion.

I'm just kind of lingering here, steeping in the dregs of the moment, nibbling on the potato chip crumbs at the bottom of the bag and having a cup of coffee before hunting down my coat, thanking the host and heading home.

The Voice did not hold the meaning of life but it did hold my heart and my attention for several weeks.  I listened to music.  I was a fan.  I was invested in the stories and songs and fates of these people.  It has been a long time since I was able to say such things about myself.  And yes, it did restore my faith in humanity a little bit.  Or at least made me feel for a brief moment, like, America and I heard things the same way.

I hope that winning the Voice opens all sorts of doors for Jermaine and all the other contestants.  I hope that they have forged real connections and made lifelong friends.  I hope that really great music and breathtaking performances come out of this.  And that they find happiness, contentment and fulfillment.

I am not sure what I will do with myself now.  Maybe I will get to bed earlier.  And then look for something else to hold my heart and my attention.  Invest in my fate.  Work on forging real connections, making and keeping lifelong friends, making music, doing a bit of performing and finding contentment, happiness and fulfillment.

I hope the same for you too.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Too Much of the Voice pt. 4

I woke up today remembering this Chris Mann moment during "You Raise Me Up."  Key change at 1:15 and then at 1:47 he pauses a beat and jumps back in.  Stylish.

Too Much of the Voice pt. 3

I am sad that Juliet was sick.  She seemed kind of low energy for most of the show but bounced back brilliantly at the end.  Requesting Freebird is the ultimate performance cliche.  But she is no cliche.  She was the real deal.  She had more song and less rasp  in her vocals and looked amazing in that dress.  I don't think any woman has ever rocked that hard in a red gown that beautiful.  She was ferocious and beautiful at the same time.

Jermaine's duet with Blake on "Soul Man" was fun and funky.  All of his performances were so strong.  "I Believe I Can Fly" and "God Gave Me You." He's got so much heart in his song.  He does not need elaborate staging.  He needs a mic and a spotlight.  He can bring it big or sing it simple and come across.  When he came down to Blake's chair and reached out for his hand, it was so heartwarming.  That's not a mere bromance.  That's genuine friendship.

Chris Mann performances were so approachable and open, so unaffected and sincere.  He seemed so connected and responsive in his duet or "The Prayer" with Christina.  I have not seen this from him until tonight.  I was really surprised.  There was a human soul expressed in all that technical mastery.  I got teary eyed at each one of his performances especially during "The Voice Within."  A singer thanking someone important to them through song.  His vocals were warm and tender.  I agree with Christina, he is a real man.

Tony Lucca tore up the stage with "99 Problems" and was marvelously entertaining.  The Jay-Z song is badass and the Hugo version is pretty swingin'.  And this was the badass rock alternative to both of those versions and to everything else people were singing.  But Christina does have a point - the lyrical point of view of the song is that a bitch can be one of the problems that you have, even if it's not the particular problem of the singer at that moment.  The song does not distinguish whether they mean a bitch as in a female dog, or a woman who is mean and confrontational and spiteful or the word bitch is being applied to any and all women.  And Blake does have a point, why perform a song with the word bitch in the chorus if you can't sing the word bitch in the chorus.  If this song was selected to allow Tony and Adam to call Christina a bitch while not calling her a bitch on TV, that would be really shitty.  I hope that this was not the intent.  I hope the intent was to do something badass and rockin' and fun and that they were just being thoughtless careless fun-loving idiots.  I have been uncharitable to not admit that his duet of "Yesterday" with Adam Levine was pretty decent.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Too Much of the Voice pt. 2

While traveling overseas for work, I could not watch the show on TV or online but I HAD to find out what was going on. I went on Twitter and followed hashtags for #thevoice, #teamblake and #teamxtina. Let me give a big shoutout to everyone who helped me stay up too late and up to date on what was happening.

People often say that they are on Twitter but they are not sure why or what it's good for. Keeping track of the Voice in almost real-time when you can't watch. That's what it's good for.

The show has broken my heart repeatedly. I have become irrationally attached to so many of the contestants on the show. Even when I listen with a critical ear. Even while I judge harshly from home, I get totally sucked in.

It's probably all for the camera but I love the idea that The Voice is a big lovebug hugfest where everyone is nice and the best of friends. That is the fantasy. I like the coaching aspect. I like that Blake Shelton seems to tear up and to be insanely proud of every single person on his team everytime they perform. I like the supportive vibe, the celebrity advisors.

Of course it's reality TV so it's likely that everything has been engineered for heightened emotional manipulation and there is no hugfest going on back stage and they all openly hate each other. But if this is the case, don't tell me. Let me live with my illusions for a little longer.


Battle Rounds: Cannon Fodder and Lambs for the Slaughter

For the most part, the coaches picked a song that was perfect for one of the two battlers and an almost impossible stretch for the other. Sometimes the singer at the disadvantage pulled it off or brought something really special. Sometimes the singer who you would think had the upper hand, didn't. It's rare that performers are put on stage and compared in real time side by side on the same song. No Diva in her right mind would agree to such a thing.  The format favors those who have stronger bigger voices that project. It favors the good looking and people who are comfortable on stage.  In practice, it was very Darwinian and vicious.

Team Blake:

Pumped Up Kicks
I was not a Lex Land fan until the battle round. She and Charlotte Sometimes had my favorite battle. It is among my favorite performances on the show. It was so good that I am sad that the duet track is not available for sale online.  I have listened to their battle perhaps a bazillion times.

It's mostly due to Lex's singing. The song sounds so interesting because she made a lot of smart and interesting vocal choices.  Charlotte was more solid but Lex was more musical and multifaceted in her performance. It's worth watching the battle to see her pace around Charlotte, staring her down. Intense.  I am not sure how much further Lex could have gone but I would have loved to see her sing one or two more songs on the show.  I am listening to "Play In Reverse" Holy Shit.

During Jermaine Paul's audition, I thought he was a technically flawless singer but that his pipes lacked power and that the timbre and tone of his voice was weird. But with each performance I am forced to admit that I was totally wrong. His battle with Alyx was clear evidence to the contrary. He demolished that song. He elevated the song far beyond what Billy Ocean could have imagined.

We Belong
I thought Gwen Sebastian made interesting choices in her battle with Erin Willett. This battle was heavily set against her.  Erin's rehearsal clips were amazing.  Her tone is gorgeous.  Had Erin let go and sang the way she had in rehearsal it would have been no contest.  But there was something really lovely about what Gwen was doing.  And I was so sad that she did not make it through.

Blake was highly critical of Jordis' battle with Brian Fuente. It sounded strained and not in a good way. But when I listen to it again, I think that the problem was that the interval that they chose for their harmony parts was ever so slightly off and their voices don't have enough blend to smooth that over.

At the end of the battle rounds, it was a very sad farewell to Lex Land and Gwen Sebastian.


Team Xtina:

Xtina's battles were some of the best performances on the show (besides Lex and Charlotte) and very tough to call. In some cases, her decisions seemed to be very biased towards who she liked and not the better performance. Then again, if both performers are equally strong, perhaps you would.

If I Ain't Got You
Anthony Evans and Jesse Campbell were one of the first battles and perhaps the best. Lex and Charlotte's battle was my favorite but I think Anthony and Jesse's was in another league.  Anthony Evans stepped up to Jesse in a way that probably no other vocalist on the show could. This might have been the toughest call of any of the battles. It was a Melismafest like no other, Olympic level.

Heartshaped Box
Lee Koch and Lindsay Pavao had a very interesting battle. It was spooky. It was weird. It was creepy. I think Lee was the more musical of the two on this song. He stretched the most and I thought he won the round. Lindsay's voice had a really flat tone that was not entirely pleasant.  Lee did not go down without a fight.  I do think that Christina played favorites here.

Chain of Fools
Sera Hill and Geoff McBride had a really great battle. Singing Aretha is near impossible for a mere mortal. We all think that we can sing Aretha but this is because we are singing along to her records. These two delivered. I think Geoff was the stronger singer. His range does not have the highs that Sera does but his voice has a bigger projection. Her voice was swallowed up a bit. This seems to happen more and more for Sera as the competition went on.  Again, I think Christina played favorites.

Satisfaction
Moses Stone and the Line had the battle with the most potential to be a trainwreck. It turned out really electrifying. The Line was pushed to work the stage. Hailey Steele was on fire. She was a living fury on that stage. And Boy, was she pissed when the Line lost!  But Moses had the more engaging stage mojo - such a natural performer.

Ashley De La Rosa had the Geoff McBride effect in her battle. Her voice projected more strongly and carried in her battle. She conquered.

It would have been great for the Voice to record and release a lot of the battles as duets on iTunes.

Sad good byes to Geoff McBride and Anthony Evans.  We hardly knew you.


Team Adam:

For whatever reason while members of Team Adam were exceptionally strong in their blind auditions did not have such strong battles. Which was surprising. Perhaps because he had the most variety in ability and vocal and tonal quality in his camp.  In most cases there were clear winners and losers and the battles didn't make for interesting performances. The songs often seemed to be a weird fit for the singers.

No More Drama
Probably the best battle was Kim Yarbrough and Whitney Meyer. It's a shame that they were put up to battle each other. It would have been great to get both of them through to the next level. Kim's voice was just so much stronger. Much more power and richness of tone. If they had battled other people, I have no doubt that they both would have dominated.  Kim did have a really standout performance.

The other stand out performance of this team were Katrina Parker who pretty much seemed to channel Adele on Bleeding Love.

As a side note, I stumbled on an Angel Taylor single "Like You Do".  It's a great track and she sounds sooo good on it.  It has me rethinking Angel Taylor entirely and should probably cause me to rethink my opinion of every singer on the show this season.  In the right environment, under the right conditions, probably all of these contestants are amazing.  Reality TV is a very artificial platform.

Sad sad sad farewells to Whitney Meyer.


Team Cee Lo:

The battles on Team Cee Lo were the most unfair. Sometimes heartbreakingly unfair.

Jamar Rogers' battle with Jamie Lono was a heartbreaker. Plain and simple. It made me cry and cry. Because Jamie is extremely musical and so lovable on screen but in no way shape or form able to sing that Foreigner song in that way. It wasn't even remotely in his key. This was a total lamb for the slaughter scenario. Truth be told, very few people can sing that Foreigner song, they recorded it with a whole choir. To his credit, Jamar steamrolled through that track. But I cried and cried when Jamie got eliminate.

Jamie Lono has this very lovely cover of Blackbird and a  very catchy original My My My on the facetubes and is still very musical and lovable on screen.

Stay with Me
Sarah Golden was set up for a fall in her battle with Juliet Simms but she held up her end respectably despite the fact that the selected the key was in no way a good one for her.  Strangely when she sang so close to her break, she had this fantastic pop star quality to her voice that was very Jackson 5. If she could got little more comfortable there, she could completely rock the pop dance tunes, if she wanted.

Faithfully
Justin Hopkins was also set up in his battle with Tony Vincent. But he really delivered the goods. It would have been interesting to see what he could do in the kind of staging and theatrics that Cee Lo would have placed him in, had he advanced.  I think Justin could have stretched beyond that performance and was being pigeon-holed.  Journey is as impossible to sing as Aretha. Steve Perry has enormous shoes to fill.  And while Tony and Chris on Team Adam were terrified to do a U2 song but I think Tony and Justin would have been way more justified to crap their pants at the prospect of doing a Journey song.  It was a great duet.  Legendary.  If Justin and Tony had been battling Chris and Tony, on Faithfully, Team Cee Lo would have wiped the stage with them.

What's Love Got to Do with It
The Shields Brothers were also set up in their battle with Erin Martin. It seemed like the perfect song for her and one would think that she would have dominated. But it ended up being a really strong match.  Their battle was great.  The Shields Brothers brought the fire and Erin brought the sex appeal and the pterodactyl sounds.  It was a fantastic piece.  Erin and the Shields Brothers should consider becoming a trio.  Cee Lo should have moved the three of them to the next level together.  I think the Shields Brothers, like Justin, were pigeon-holed.

One thing that they did in this battle was to modulate the key of the song to accommodate each battle side. Had that not happened, this would have been painful for one of the two battlers. And had they done this for Jamar and Jamie, their battle might have been less of a blood bath.  The minute Jamie's voice cracked in rehearsal, that should have been a part of the discussion.

I have become a big fan of the Shields Brothers.
Their covers: We Are YoungForget YouPumped Up Kicks
Their originals: Addicted to You (sex!),  Rock and Roll Is Not Allowed

The super saddest of farewells to Jamie Lono and to the Shields Brothers.

My favorite battles:

Lex and Charlotte
Moses and the Line
Erin and the Shields Brothers
Lee and Lindsay
Justin and Tony

A quick word about the celebrity advisors - Babyface was my favorite followed very closely by Neyo.


Blind Auditions
The Blind Auditions were the most exciting part of the show.  The spinning lighted chairs.  Fabulous.  And these people can really fucking sing. The bar is set incredibly high from the very start.

But these the ones that really struck me.

Team Blake:
Gwen Sebastian, Stay, the flutter in her voice is gorgeous.  She has a Dolly Parton quality to her vocals.

Jordis Unga, Maybe I'm Amazed

Erin Willett, I Want You Back I don't know why I didn't note how damn amazing Erin's blind audition was on previous viewings.  And I don't know why Blake was the only coach to turn.

Team Xtina:
Sera Hill, I'm Going Down She had maybe one of the most compelling auditions and had an amazing battle round.

Jesse Campbell, A Song for You.  I still can't believe he was eliminated.

Lindsay Pavao, Say Aaaah had a really interesting audition, perhaps the most interesting of all the blind auditions, musically.  She has great taste.  I have looked up every song that she has performed on the show.  With the exception of one, I have really liked them all to the point of obsession.  But I have liked the originals better in every case.  I find this a little concerning.  The covers all go through the Pavao process and come out with a consistently weird, downtempo, low key feel.  I do wish that she had gone along with Xtina's suggestion of a Rhianna mashup of "S&M" and "We Found Love".  It's not really her style but it's SUCH an awesome idea.  I can almost hear it in my brain. Texturally, it's a great match with her voice.  It's possible that when singing her own songs, the Pavao process would lead to delightful musical outcomes.  But I am not sure.  I worry that instead they will come out weird, downtempo and too low key to be appealing.


Team Adam:
Mathai, Rumor Has It, unfortunately she peaked with this performance and never really clicked in after.  But this performance is incredibly strong.

Kim Yarbrough, Tell Me Something Good, power altos have a very hard time on these kinds of shows.  As an alto, this bugs me to no end.  I could write a whole blog post about it.

Orlando Napier, Waiting on the World to Change, I am really surprised that Orlando did not go further.  His audition was amazing.  But if he had, we would not have seen Karla Davis' best moment.

Whitney Myer, No One, had a really lovely blind audition and I do wish that she had had the chance to go further.  Putting anyone in a battle round with Kim Yarbrough is unfair.

Chris Cauley, Grenade, had a lot of style, so fluid.


Team Cee Lo:
Jamar Rogers, Seven Nation Army, I don't understand why they didn't all turn around.

James Massone, Find Your Love, made enormous strides while on the show.  He has a very high nasal tone but also a beautiful lightness.  His covers of Don't Know Why and Just the Way You Are were a great direction for him to take.  Having Cee Lo pick him in the battle round was a great moment of judge impartiality.

Jamie Lono, Folsom Prison Blues, I really love this performance.

Tony Vincent, We Are the Champions,  I think Tony also peaked with his first performance.  Somehow he never quite found his groove.  His last chance performance of Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) was what he needed to be doing the whole time.  He could use some new dance moves that are less spider-like.

Now all that is left is a discussion of the final performances and results and a meditation on the show as a whole.

Too Much of the Voice pt. 1

I have become entirely wrapped up in the reality television show, The Voice. I watch the show. I watch the extra videos. I read online blog posts and episode recaps. I look at the photos. I rewatch performances. I read contestant tweets. I read contestant blog entries. I watch non-Voice youtube videos by the contestants. I listen to the original versions of the songs covered. I suspect the energy I am directing towards this show reflects a longing, a deep desire for something. Not sure what perhaps - for meaning, for direction, for insight, for inspiration. The show is enjoyable but as could be predicted, however much I investigate the online media and content surrounding this show, I am left wanting more. Because the inarticulable thing that I seek is not there.  It does not contain the secrets of the universe or the answer to the question of the meaning of life.

The show is down to the final four contestants. Tony Lucca, Jermaine Paul, Chris Mann and Juliet Simms. By next Tuesday, they will have declared who is the Voice for 2012. Interestingly, these four have not competed against each other until now. So it's anyone's guess as to who has the most popular support. The show is structured to put contestants onto Teams. Although to clarify these are not teams where the singers collaborate, rather that they are in the same competitive division.  They compete for the privilege of representing their coach in the final show down.  The word Team is misused here in the same way that the word "Friend" is misused in social media. Teams are under the guidance of a coach, who is their coach, guide, producer, confessor, cheerleader, judge, jury and hangman in the early phases.  America does get to vote but only very late in the game and only in some instances.

I have wanted to gab about this show obsessively and incessantly but have spared you until now.

The Final Four

Tony Lucca is a handsome guy with famous friends and perhaps lots of fans. He is very comfortable on stage. But he needs serious back up singers to do the heavy lifting for him vocally. Standing behind a mic stand is not the right gig for him. He's best either behind a guitar or working the stage reaching out to the crowd. He cleans up cheesy, like an evangelical megachurch preacher. Keep that hat on his head, beard on his face and maybe the vest too. His best performances have been: "How You Like Me Know", "Hit Me Baby One More Time", and "In Your Eyes".

Jermaine Paul is even handsomer, perhaps the best looking man on the show.  He has amazing vocal control and command. He has mostly given soulful renditions of rocks songs and power ballads. Besides his staggering vocal ability, there is an immense amount of heart and emotion in his performances. He can carry a song on his capable shoulders and sell it like nobody's business. His version of "Living On A Prayer" gave me chills. It blew the original to bits. His version of "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car" also blew the original away. But really, he's been strong all the way through: "Against All Odds", "Open Arms". His blind audition song, "Complicated" was his weakest cut. Which is not saying much because it was also pretty damn great.

Opera singer, Chris Mann, has staggering chops. But the challenge is to find him the perfect song and the perfect genre. I am not sure that he has had a break out pop performance on the show. In part due to his application of an operatic singing style to popular songs.  The notes and those open vowels have considerable firepower and oh so much vibrato, but the words sound affected and formal. Although I did like the OperaMann version of "Bridge Over Troubled Water". He sounds very mannered and formal to me.  I'd like to hear him do a Queen song. I think bigness and bombast with a mild dash of raciness could work for him.  The precise articulation and vibrato would be well placed in that context.

Juliet Simms brings a compelling urgency to the stage. You feel like singing is the only thing that keeps her from being lowered into a tank of starving piranhas. She has consistently had some of the best stagecraft.   In her blind audition when she fell to her knees during "Oh Darlin" it was electric. With her curious voice the whole is definitely greater than sum the parts.  She's nasal.  She's husky.  She has little girl precious vocals.  She sometimes does this nanny goat thing.  She's has broad dynamics and control. And she brings the legit rock gravel and growl. She has been so strong all the way through. I am not sure how she will top her performance of "It's a Man's World." I thought the same when she sang "Cryin'" and minced her way back and forth across the stage in those wings and high heels. And I thought the same after she tore the roof off of "Roxanne." There is a lot of talk about the artistry and interpretive skills of Lindsay Pavao but Juliet's rendition of Roxanne is transformative. This girl is no joke. I did not think that she could beat Jamar. But she did (breaking my heart) and would have even without Cee Lo's support.  I cannot wait to hear her next song.

Upsetting Eliminations

There is something so winning, so endearing about Jamar Rogers.  His rock soul kungfu has been impressive: "Seven Nation Army", "Are You Gonna Go My Way", the slow jam version of "It's My Life".  He blew "I Want to Know What Love Is", out of the water and poor Jamie Lono along with it.  Cee Lo Green was critical of his version of "If You Don't Know Me By Now".  But I find it to be really lovely.  It kills me that we could not have Juliet and Jamar in the final four.

Katrina Parker really blossomed in this competition and has had some really great performances.  I like her version of "Jar of Hearts" better than the original.  "Perfect", ""Killing Me Softly", "Don't Speak" - she's done really beautiful work on the show, in particular, on "Don't Speak".  Unlike everyone else who covered Adele and mostly could not live up to the task, she evokes that quality and tone without ever doing an Adele song.  Her voice has a beautiful texture.  She has grown to the point where a coach like Christina Aguilera or Cee Lo Green would help her take the next step.  I am sad that she has been eliminated but I will credit Adam for taking her as far has he did.  It shows great integrity in his judging despite his smarmy onscreen demeanor.  But I would love to hear her sing again.

Other extremely distressing Eliminations from the live performances

Jesse Campbell - His blind audition "A Song For You", his epic "If I Ain't Got You" battle with Anthony Evans, "What a Wonderful World".  I grant you that "Halo" was not a good song for him and perhaps he was not progressing or evolving in the same way that some of the other contestants were but I really wanted to see him sing again and again on the show.  He's so damn good.  He was already starting from a very high level.

Ashley De La Rosa - She really developed on the show.  When she started to rock out - it all fell into place for her: "Right Through You" and then "Paris, Oo La La".  It's a pity that "Paris, Oo La La" was a last chance song.  She was on fire.  It was one of my favorite moments.  I would buy it on iTunes.  If she had gotten to do the song "Fighter" as a solo live performance, she would have crushed it to a fine powder.  I don't think that "Foolish Games" or "You and I" were particularly good choices for her.  The uptempo stuff is really her sweet spot, although with time she would certainly season into the sweeter, slower stuff.  If only, Rock Diva was a well established popular music category.  I do not know if rock diva is a frequently vacant category  because it is so hard to sustain or because divas have a desperate need to sing high sustained notes and then melisma their brains out - a need best met by singing ballads.  But I would love to see Ashley De La Rosa blow the roof off of the rock world.

Jordis Unga - After singing "Maybe I'm Amazed" for her blind audition things never really seemed to click for Jordis.  I am not sure why and it's a shame.  Frankly, covering a Heart song is insanity.  Her last chance song, "Wild Horses" was lovely.  Impressive because that song is endless and prone to being sooooo boring.    It was a breakthrough for her but I think her subsequent song was a misstep.  "Wild Horses" was a confidence building performance that put her on her feet and in a position to tear the roof off the house.  I got weepy when she was eliminated.  Her performances on Rock Star INXS show were mind-blowing.

I almost stopped watching when Jesse and Ashley were eliminated.  It's hard to want to keep watching now that Jamar is gone.

Outstanding Live Performances

Erin Willett did the most amazing version of "Livin' For the City".  It hit right in her sweet spot.  Her video of "I Love Rock n Roll" with the Shields Brothers is so great.  I am not sure the Voice was the best venue for America to see just how wonderful she is.  She needs her own talk show.

I was not a Charlotte Sometimes fan, until her performance of "Misery Business".  When she glances to her right with the slightest shrug of her shoulder, she expresses the superior sass and flirtation of the song.  Youtube recommended that I listen to her track "How I Could Just Kill a Man."  It fits her like a glove.

People were very critical of Naia Kete, (haters!) but I thought that her version of "Turning Tables" was beautifully vulnerable, tender, and real.  Even what was flawed in the performance played into the emotional tenor and expression of the song perfectly.  I actually liked her last chance version of "If I Were a Boy" too.  I hope that she is getting booked into venues and has not gone completely back to busking on the streets.

RaeLynn version of "She's Country" was the first time that the song didn't get away from her.  She's adorable and enjoyable in raw form too but this performance was her polished gem.  Her vocals were perfectly under control.  She stage swagger was spot on.  She knocked it out of the park.

I did not understand the fuss about Karla Davis until her last chance song "I Can't Make You Love Me."  She's skilled, soulful and has melisma chops to spare.  She makes smart and very musical vocal choices.  As Adam points out, she can stay solidly in the pocket which is a credit to her musicianship.  On her youtube version of "Airplane" she even raps.  It's great.  On the show, the tempo was a touch too slow for her.  If the tempo has sped up a notch, had she been less nervous, had she not been standing on an airplane wing, had she been allowed to rap - well, she would have clobbered it.  There really is something pure and beautiful and perfect about her voice.

I liked Cheesa's cover of Don't Leave Me This Way.  I did not like her eye makeup and her clothes.  I wish they had put her in a miniskirt or tuxedo hot pants with some boots.  But vocally it was great.  You could see that she was working on her stagecraft, with time that would get better.  But her real breakthrough came with I Have Nothing.  It's a brave and impossible choice.  We have all tried to sing this song at karaoke.  When I try, I break into a massive sweat and end up collapsed on the floor reaching for the remnants of my splattered lungs.  She tore it up.  It was fantastic match up between a big song and a big voice.  On this show it might have been the best one for any of the power altos.

This is only half the story.  Here we close the live performance section and step further back in time to the Battle Rounds and the Blind Auditions.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Christina Perri

Listening to her sing makes me remember the sensation of falling in love. Wistfully and with some distant longing.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Karma or Closure?

I broke up with him in 1992 because I was young, heartless and foolish. Despite doing this, we remained friends after a fashion.

And now he's breaking up with me in 2012 so that he can close the chapter of his life that I represent.

There are so many ways to spin this. I have been working my way through them today. But I like the parallel structure of this version.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Ginger flavored sheep's milk yogurt

Sounded like a risky proposition. An expensive one too. But is completely delicious.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Fennel and Fruit

The salad that we did not order at Italian food fest 2012 was a winter salad that had, among other things, fennel and grapefruit. It's what I've been pondering ever since.

I thought that I would put off fun with fennel until later, but couldn't wait. I picked up a fennel bulb on my way home. Along with a grapefruit and a bunch of mint.

Lacking a mandolin, I tried to use a vegetable peeler. I would not recommend this. I eventually switched to a knife trying to slice it as thinly as I could. I got a bit worried. The texture would be less delicate and the fennel itself tasted weird. Very stemmy and only slightly liquorice-like.

Tore up some pieces of mint, threw them at the bottom of a bowl with some grapefruit chunks, topped them with fennel, and repeated that layering two more times. The whole mess was drizzled with balsamic vinegar and grapeseed oil, and topped with parmesan cheese and half an avocado.

The cheese was too much. I shouldn't have be having it anyway.

Balsamic grapefruit was a bit overpowering for the fennel. Maybe a bit less balsamic, a bit less oil, maybe more mint. Better yet, muddle the mint and the grapefruit with a dab of sugar and a bit of basil. Or maybe a different kind of citrus? Add some pine nuts or slivered almonds in place of the cheese, slice and chunk the avocado.

I was worried that it would be too sour, too bland, too much, too weird.

It was sour. Crunchy, sour, sweet, with an occasional bite of avocado to soothe the sour tongue begging for a beautiful piece of crusty bread.

Just what I was looking for.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Re-reversing a reversal - The journey of 10,000 steps

I wrote this post and then took it down to try to tell it in a different way. But then I had a comment from MomVee and it seemed like this thing should go up as was. Plus, I happen to agree with her on the question of spaghetti squash.


The journey of 10,000 steps

JK's doctor told her that the secret to losing weight was to eat right and take 10,000 steps a day. 10,000 steps is about 5 miles.

Rather than our usual plans which are to eat too much and drink a lot, we met up and walked 3+ miles and then ate too much.

We had juice and then walked from Union Square up to 57th street to Bergdorf's and back down to 34th street to Macy's. She was returning shoes. I was purchasing food processor / blender combo.

After which we took the train back downtown and ruined the whole effect by having waaaaay too much Italian food.

It was delightful. But perhaps I should develop some mechanisms by which to exercise some portion control.

There was much to praise and critique about the meal.

I have been thinking about anchovies a lot. The toasted garlic bread with anchovies was a sin. It was salty, garlicy, toasty, oily and mushy all at once. Very nice with a glass of red.

The lasagna was a big cheesy mushy meaty mess. Not an unpleasant one, but I prefer my lasagna to have a lot of substantial noodle in it. And I missed it. Fortunately, the pappardelle was quite satisfying on the pasta front, although the meat in the ragu was tough and chewy.

Funny enough, I really enjoyed the vegetables. The string beans in garlic and olive oil were sweet and just the right balance between crunchy and soft. To start off this adventure we had shaved fennel with olive oil, balsamic vinegar and lots of parmesan cheese.

And even funnier enough, after all that glorious food, I am thinking about the fennel. Two years ago, I signed up to be part of a CSA. I got too much of a lot of vegetables that I did not know what to do with. Fennel was among them. The worst were Mizuna and kolrabi. Kolrabi was an utter mystery to me.

Thinly shaved fennel with balsamic vinegar was a delicate and fresh combo.

I might spend some time playing around with shaved fennel. Maybe recreate the salad or use it in a sandwich with a little tuna salad or a little bit of chicken.

Comment from MomVee
Mizuna tastes like dirt. I really resent humankind for deciding that it and spaghetti squash are edible.

But kohlrabi is delicious in matchsticks and made into a salad or slaw, or roasted. If you're into that cabbagey kind of taste, which I am.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Food jail: the red light green light remix

The problem with food jail is that the inmate and the jailer are the same person.

I am pretty lousy at this. I used up all my willpower last month.

I've decided to try to add exercise to this three months. It might help. I took my very first Zumba class on Saturday. Damn near killed me.

Food Jail.

But I might try it again.

Food Jail.

I made a tofu scramble. This time, I added rosemary and celery. Rosemary to make it more awesome and celery for a little bit of crunch. Since it didn't have to be vegan or even vegetarian anymore, I added dashi. That Friends, was a game changer. Salt, msg, umami, fishy. So good. Totally not vegetarian. I will try vegetarian vegetable boullion and/or some sea kelp.

Much Less Like Food Jail.

The Fella is in a children's play about vegetables. I went on opening night and afterwards I had a spinach and cheese empanada.

Not Food Jail.

This game will go so and so and so on for the next three months at least.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

My musical fantasy life pt. 1

I saw Steven Colbert do a duet with James Taylor and was jealous beyond belief. If I could sing with anyone who is famous, James Taylor is at the top of that list. I realize that I would probably be unable to sing. I would be crying too hard because I would be so completely overcome by being in his presence.

Lyle Lovett, I think would also be a real pleasure to sing with. And I think maybe I could keep my shit together long enough to get through a song or two.

I am sure there are others that I could add to this list - the Eagles, the Indigo Girls, Kansas but topping the list are James and Lyle.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Food Jail

I have been looking forward to the part where I stop eating healthy and go back to my usual nonsense.

Last week I went to the Dr for a routine physical exam. They drew blood. I peed in a cup, all that good stuff. I told him about the healthnut thing but that I would go off of it at the end of the month.

Today I got a voicemail from the Dr's office. I have elevated triglycerides, high LDL's and low HDL's and a severe vitamin D deficiency. That is what I get from my month of trying to be a healthnut.

Further to that I am to take vitamin D3 supplements. My vitamin D levels are way way low. They said that at first they thought my blood glucose levels were elevated but then said something about running the test again and they were normal. To me this suggests that the test should be run a third time.

I am to take fish oil pills and vitamin D3, follow a strict low cholesterol diet and come back for tests again in three months.

As a reward for my dietary struggles this last month, I have been sentenced to food jail.

In response to this I came home and decided to run in the opposite direction. I made meatless spaghetti carbonara and had a bowl of it with half a bundle of steamed asparagus.

Yep. I got the recipe wrong because I cannot fry an egg proper. The idea was from a book I recently read. You boil pasta, fry two eggs, drain the pasta, put the eggs on top, add grated cheese, black pepper, a little of the pasta water and toss.

Except that I used whole wheat pasta, overfried the eggs and added too much pasta water. Whole wheat pasta has the wrong texture and the wrong consistency. It doesn't hang on to a sauce the right way. It sticks but it is not a harmonious meld. You can taste the struggle, sauce vs. noodle. Whole wheat pasta is not pasta. I don't think it actually qualifies as edible. I could have thrown the mess away but no. Instead I cracked a raw egg on top of it all and tried to toss it in.

The pasta was no longer hot enough to cook the new egg. So then I turned up the heat and tried to cook the eggy, cheesey water onto the pasta. Which kinda worked. Almost. I ate it anyway. If I never post here again you will know that I died of salmonella poisoning. And yes, my friend Rosemary came to the three egg pasta party. After a little time in a pan of hot olive oil she got feisty. In a good way - someone had to stand up to all that eggness.

I don't actually even know what a low cholesterol diet is. I envision steamed fish and steamed vegetables and brown rice with no salt or flavor FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Food jail. At least for the next three months. Possibly forever. And dreams about cookies. Perhaps I will start believing in God in the hopes that if I am good I will go to a heaven filled with cookies, pie and ice cream. I have always been more of a salt person but if I am to live out my days in food jail, send me to cookie heaven when I die.

I take comfort in one thing. Sardines are rich in vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids. In my youth I was very fond of sardines and now I intend to revisit my fishy friend.

When not on the wagon

Last night with the best of intentions I met up with CK for a drink. But then I had a red wine flight with cheese pairings. Roquefort cheese, by the way, with a hefty Shiraz is a gift from the Gods. Camembert, however, when paired with a Cabernet Sauvignon /Cabernet Franc blend will taste like dirty feet, very unpleasant.

Going from strength to strength we wandered across the street to our usual watering hole. There was more wine and almond stuffed chocolate covered figs. Perhaps someday I will try to do this at home but with a dark almost bitter chocolate sauce instead of the chocolate shell.

From there we went next door with a new friend to say hello to another friend. While there the cute bartender mixed us a parting shot. Which I should have refused. But I did not.

I did not pace myself, I forgot to eat dinner.

This could happen on any night of reckless drinking. I somehow managed to get home. I expelled my demons, I passed out. I woke up at 5am. There wasn't much to eat in the house so I had two glasses of water and a pear.

Usually when I wake from that kind of a night I want fried foods. I want eggs and bacon with hashbrowns. I want a burger with fries and a milkshake. I want fried chicken with mashed potatoes and buttery biscuits. But this morning I wanted avocado and mozzarella with lettuce and tomato on whole wheat. I didn't want mayo, or salad dressing or mustard. I wanted it dry. Just the AMLT.

It was revelatory. With each bite I wanted wave my sandwich at my co-workers and say, "My God. This is just so amazing. Have a bite. Go ahead!"

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Microsoft does not understand me

Microsoft products restart your computer when they want. I went to pee and brush my teeth and on my return discovered that Windows 7 decided to restart the computer. Without asking me if I wanted to save the files that I was working on. I will never use Notepad again. Never.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Having fallen, I can't get up

I stepped off the wagon in honor of CK's birthday. I had wine. I had vodka. I had salami, goat cheese, eggs, cupcakes and Cinghiale (wild boar). One would have thought that it was my birthday what with all the celebrating that I was doing. I left the bar when my eyeballs started to swim but I was drunk from the first sip of wine on that fine Saturday afternoon.

The next day, I woke up and wanted grilled cheese and tater tots. Or french fries. Or pork. I got it into my head to have polenta. So I made polenta with heavy cream, butter and cheese, baked an eggplant and fried up a fennel sausage. All hail the animal products.

Now, I am having a hard time taking the POLAOWN seriously. There was too much backsliding. I got a veggie bahn mi sandwich yesterday. But also got BBQ'd pork rolls out of curiosity. Luckily the pork rolls were terrible. They were made with some weird bland crumbly thing and all of the parts of the pig that are neither fatty and/or delicious. So, again, disappointment with the cheating. The Universe tries to prod me in the right direction.

I have two big containers of fatty dairy polenta in the fridge that I feel obligated to eat. The fridge is actually overflowing with leftovers. I should stop cooking until I eat through what I have. Or perhaps I could give it to the pigeons.

Today, I ate out again. I had a veggie burrito from Dos Toros Taqueria. I said yes to the cheese, no to the sour cream and yes to the guacamole. The burrito was bigger than my foot and it was heavenly. I did not miss the sour cream at all. I sat and gobbled the whole thing down and thought about how delicious it was. Way more delicious than anything that I have been making at home.

I worry that the true temptation is the Dos Toros burrito and not the cupcakes and the Cinghiale. I worry I have inhaled a burrito from the tree of knowledge and am now again cast out of the righteous realm of clean eating. Although it now seems doubtful that I was eating all that clean. I think to really eat clean you need to forgo all animal products.

I only made it 25 days before the out and out cheating began. And I cannot take myself seriously anymore. I don't feel like I am in it anymore. JK wants to get together on Sunday and have an eatfest while the rest of the world is watching the Super Bowl. So I ask myself, "Is it over?" If I can hold out until February 3rd, I will have made the month with a three day exception. We will see if I can.

YT asked whether I would extend the POLAOWN for the days that I cheated. I am trying to think back to how many small cheats I had. If I were doing this right I would either start all over again for another 30-40 days in light of my inability to stick with it. Or I could add 5 or 6 more days to the end of this journey.

I was thinking to devote Feb to trying to improve my sleep habits. I'm off to a pretty weak start. Might have to push that one off to a different month. Other possibilities are to either make a concerted effort to follow through on the things that I start or sit down and actually ponder my future, put a little thought the direction that I would like to go as opposed to the floating of my last five years.

A Match Game

Today, I introduced two people to each other over email.

I never do this. I am too much of a hermit. I am a dead end friend in the world of networking and connectivity.

I like them both a lot. They are each very enjoyable to be around. Smart, outgoing, lively, funny, good-looking. They strike me as being heartfull and loveable people. One is a friend of mine, the other is a dear friend of another friend of mine. Different social circles.

Now that I have done this, it occurs to me that the best case scenario is that they like each other. It also occurs to me that the worst case scenario is not that they dislike/hate each other. Or that they don't click. Those would be disappointing but valuable to each in refining their ideas on what they want from a mate.

No. The worst case scenarios run along the lines of a compelling but unhealthy dynamic or chemistry in which they torture each other but cannot break free of each other.

I also realize that if they actually meet in person and things progress from there, it's anyone's guess as to what happens. So many factors at play. The heart is so volatile. I have my fingers crossed and my eyes closed.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Memories spoiled by neurotics

Over the weekend I had this uneventful, goofy, fun evening with the Fella. Later, on further reflection, I wondered whether there would be other nights like that. They couldn't all be like that. They haven't all been like that. I don't know where it came from.

Would there be others? How many? I tried to project into the future, to extrapolate - to imagine. If we were together for eons at some point would we stop having funny goofy nights like that?

It is highly uncharacteristic for me to try to project into the future about anything, much less a relationship with a man.

It is typical of me to ruminate over a happy memory while feeling a sense of loss and a touch of sadness because that moment is over and there is an uncertainty about to whether there will be other moments in my life like it.

It's the "some is good, more is better" fallacy.

Would that I could separate my ability to count from my ability to experience and remember joy.

In this situation, AT would tell me that as important as it is to have it, it is also important to make sure that you do not spoil your own pleasure.

Much like what happens when you go from joy at hearing that someone loves you to agony trying to figure out how much they love you. Some things are better in binary.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Don't let me eat cake, put me to sleep

I had cake. The office threw a little party. I was not going to go. But then changed my mind and went. I walked through the door, tossed the POLAOWN to the wind and made a beeline for the cake. I was on party auto-pilot and I cannot remember if it (the cake) was any good. I was a cake-eating robot vaccuum. I hoovered that plate clean in about 5 minute, hampered only by a minimal effort to make conversation with co-workers.

I have cheated this month. There have been small and large cheats. But with the exception of a slice of pizza and a half cooked baked potato loaded with sour cream and cheese, the really big cheats have not been all that enjoyable. Disappointing, even. They were cheats of convenience or politeness not sinful foodie-foodie pleasure cheats. There has been no Frito Pie. There has been no pilgrimage to Buttermilk Channel.

The full implications of eating cake did not dawn on me until I got back to my desk. It was so easy. *shame* I had chest pains. I do not know if they were due to guilt or my body reacting adversely to the food. *SHAME* It's possible that I am dying.

People have been asking me what I will do once the POLAOWN is over. ML is hoping that I stick to it and go even further. Get really clean and stay clean. I probably should aim to eat healthier and allow myself to cheat on the weekends or a certain number of meals a week. I'll cross that bridge when this comes to a close.

I have enjoyed making messes in the kitchen. I have been thinking a lot about braised meat and pasta. I've been thinking about baked pasta dishes: Ziti, lasagna, stuffed shells. I have thought a lot about the food but not about the wine. Except in the context of realizing that I have not had a social life for fear that I would be a wine swilling robot-vacuum. Braised short ribs, with a first course of ravioli and a nice bottle of red. This, I think is in my future, and I think I know just the place to have this.

I was feeling pretty decent overall. Some days ridiculously so. I would even wake up and consider exercising. A few mornings I did in fact do some sun salutations and sit ups. Tell no one!

But then I had a cup of green tea late in the evening and stayed up until 4am last Thursday. Gah! My sleep schedule has been off ever since. Not able to fall asleep and not able to stay asleep. It has had an enormous not positive effect on my days, my cognition and my mood. It might be that the challenge for next month will be to create a rigorous sleep regimen and try to get 7-8 hrs of sleep a night. Perhaps modifying my routine will reap great rewards. There is apparently more to life than food. There is also sleep.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Saturday Oven-side

As a post script to the tofu scrambles - I baked up an acorn squash and put the tofu scramble in the hollow along with some balsamic vinegar, olive oil, pinenuts and rosemary. Rosemary did indeed prove herself to be quite welcome to the party. In fact, I suspect that Rosemary, pine nuts and olive oil would have done just fine even without the scramble. Although the stuffing of food into food is always cool.

I daydream about baking another acorn squash with a cornbread stuffing and perhaps with a tiny bit of chicken sausage crumbled in. This would be an experiment for post-POLAOWN. But I suppose the cornbread part could happen now.

I also tried to bake some potatoes with the thought of topping them with some veggie chili and going all mad with the dairy: sour cream, cheese, and butter. Clearly I have given up on giving up dairy. That being said, I have been eating much less cheese than usual. Baking a potato sounds simple. Prick the skin, wrap in foil, baked until cooked. Unless you are hungry and antsy and insist on opening the open every 5 minutes to check the progress of your potatoes. In that case, it is very hard. The Fella preached patience. I only half listened.

Acorn squash does not mind if you open the oven to take a look. It will proceed calmly and steadily on its baking way. The potato, on the other hand, takes this as an affront to its ability to handle heat and will stubbornly hang on it's raw crunch in protest.

The Fella warned me that semi-baked potatoes smothered in dairy and chili would be plenty of food and that the acorn squash would be too much. He was right. Having that much bulky and filling baked vegetation at one meal induced extreme drowsiness.

After spending the better part of the day in a woozy cotton-y haze, I decided to tackle the bread baking yet again. This time with the guidance of the Fresh Loaf. I ran out of flour two cups into measuring out for the dough. So with my yeast bubbling in water that was 103 degrees (according to the thermometer), I threw on boots and a coat and ran to the grocery. I got bread flour this time to see if it would make a difference.

I had 2 cups of all-purpose and one cup of bread flour. And while kneading, I added bread flour where more flour was needed. Let me tell you, bread flour is a different animal. It's grittier than all-purpose. And for the first time, I had a ball of dough that put up a fight while kneading. People warn you that kneading dough is hard work. In my previous two attempts at bread making, I never understood this. The dough was never that tough to work with and was usually pretty pliable. But with the addition of even just one cup of bread flour I was working up a sweat.

I kneaded the crap out of the dough. Well over the recommended 10 minutes. The Fella witnessed my hysterical (as in not funny) predictions of doom with regard to the bread. When I opened the oven to look at it, things did not look good. It looked like a big pale rock with a thick incredibly hard crust. I do not know what professional bakers do to get that gorgeous browned crust. It will probably take some research to find out. So with much cursing and whingeing, I decided to try a cheat - melted a few pats of butter on the top and threw it back in the oven for a spell. Which probably did nothing but let me feel as if I had at least tried to do something about the situation.

The results were not up to my bread baking fantasies but definitely not as bad as I had feared.



It weighs a ton. It's a fairly flat loaf. The crust is impossibly hard. And on the inside, the crumb is dense but at least has more of a bread consistency and is less biscuit-like. Progress!!! Next time I will try using all bread flour and trying to be more patient with the rises. And I will start the process before 5pm so that the bread is ready before 11pm.

(Jargon for the day: BE told me that the outside of the bread is the crust and the inside is the crumb.)

Besides the uncertain and hysterical cooking, it was an evening warmed by the oven, frantic kneading, hugs of anticipation, and spontaneous dance to songs sprung from the radio in my subconscious. I've done a lot worse on a Saturday night.