Thursday, August 30, 2007

No one was more surpised than she to discover


Your Score: All-out Cynic


You are 57% absurd!




You are a cynic at heart. On the grounds of cold, harsh logic you are critical of ideas such as predestined fate and the afterlife. You have most likely had an experience of the Absurd - a realisation that in the absence of any fathomable purpose for our existence, everything we do is ultimately futile. You see this as a depressing but unavoidable fact.


But don't turn in to a total nihilist yet! If life is random and absurd, then there can be nothing more absurd than trying to fight against it. Try to go with the flow and accept the way things are - who knows, you might even enjoy the ride. And what's to stop you making your own meaning out of whatever it is you enjoy in this crazy world?




Link: The Absurdism Test written by Three-Fifteen on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test



This is just a thinly veiled attempt to lure you onto my online dating site.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

the late night observation

I was talking to a friend of mine last night who said that the curious thing about publishing is that it is an industry in which is it very easy to shift blame. Because of this it is a very political business.

I could spell out the implications but I won't. Suffice it to say, I think he might be right.

Monday, August 27, 2007

She wikipeed on me. It was way cool.

KS and I were discussing the transition Google made from being a proper name to a verb. Somehow the word lends itself well to being made a verb. From there it occurred to us that lots of people use other website but these sites don't have names that become verbs. When's the last time you yahooed anything? Or hotmailed to your hearts content?

The site that we felt might be worthy of becoming a verb was wikipedia. The problem is that this word does not immediatly lend it self to a verb-like conjugation in the english language. So we came up the word wikipee - a verb meaning to look soemthing up on wikipedia.

Example: I can't chat with you, Ze. I am wikipeeing the word "microfinance."

Exmaple: Can't remember Godel's Theorem? You could wikipee it.

Exmaple: I am so tired. I started wikipeeing the history of the pencil last night and I couldn't stop.

We also thought a second usage of the verb wikipee would be to create or ad to an entry on wikipedia.

Example: Someone wikipeed on Rick Johnson, professional musician. There was some discussion as to whether it was appropriate to wikipee on him. Some in the community feared that his entry was trivia. I haven't wikipeed him lately to see if the entry still exists. Must put that on my do to list for tomorrow.

Great moments in legal speak

"our long-standing company policy does not allow us to accept or consider creative ideas, suggestions, or materials "

So there.

I know, I know, they mean unsolicited creativity. Which is just as good a message: Only give us the creative things that we ask you for.

"A loaf of bread, a stick of butter, and a container of milk"

Today, I left the house twice. Once to do the wash. 'twas a madhouse at the Space Age Laundromat today and I was in everyone's way the whole time. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Exasperating.

The second time was to pick up a book that I ordered from the Community Bookstore and to buy toilet paper. Picking up the book, "Globalization and Its Discontents" was the easy part. It was so easy in fact that I bought a second book. On the way back I could not remember what else it was that I needed to get. I walked into a grocer and bought a nectarine. Half a block later I walked into a nother and bought a loaf of bread and some milk. And finally at the next place I bought toilet paper and a bottle of orangina. It occurred to me on the walk back how lucky it was that every street block in my Nabe seems to have at least one little deli or grocery. Lucky for the absent minded impulse shopper.

After all of that activity I needed a nap and now I can't sleep. For inexplicable reasons today I feel a bit like myself again. Haven't felt like myself since May. I'll have to ruminate on why that is.



Yesterday, I puttered around the house savoring the feeling of just being there. I have recently become obessessed with the TED conference. Crack for an idea junkie, really.

Grandma verified statistics - This talk in particular which you must see in video is pretty fucking astounding.

I went to a benefit show called After the Jump Fest. There was a free daytime portion and a nighttime portion. I went to the free part. Don't worry, I was not a total freeloader, I bought raffle tickets. The two bands that I liked best played the small stage in the back. It was small crowded and not air conditioned but fun. Apache Beat and Goes Cube. Does that make me a rock dinosaur?

A bunch of music bloggers got together and organized this thing. The organization benefited is called DonorsChoose.org. Essentially it is a place where public school teachers can post proposals for what they would like to do and ask for donations to assist them.

They range from simple:"Where Did All the Pencils Go?" ($60)

To something like: "Cooking Across the Curriculum — Cook books, bowls, mixers, and a mini-refrigerator are sought by a 3rd grade teacher who writes: Cooking incorporates all the curriculum areas in an engaging and memorable way. In science we experience how matter changes as we watch batter bake into a cake. In social studies we follow the path of an apple from a tree to our table in the form of a pie. In math we add fractions and follow directions in sequence. In reading, stories come alive as we cook the very food we just read about. Our writing and art reflect vivid personal experiences after participating in a cooperative cooking project ($1,100).

The organizers chose a music education project in the South Bronx. Here here.

And I got to chat on the phone with the RM. She is getting ready the wrap up her Montana summer and prepare to fly over to Scotland for grad school. Mega cool. I am so psyched for her.


Seeing "Xanadu" was not as delightful as I had anticipated. In part because a lot has happened in my life and the world since 1980 and also in part because I drunkenly sat in the wrong theater and sat through reviews and opening credits for the wrong midnight movie. So I missed the big production dance number at the beginning to the song "I'm Alive." So the spell was cast incomplete for me. I find it funny that back then I loved the old timey stuff and this time I was most moved by the sappy love songs. Probably because I am a sap. And surprised to see how fluid and sassy a tap dancer Olivia NJ was. She and Gene Kelly did a really nice sequence together. Gene Kelly was one of my earliest crushes. Along with William Holden.

But that evening had other moments to recommend it.

Propagate some positive vibes today kids. NSTL is getting surgery today. A neck dissection and we want it to go off without a hitch.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

with the bath water

"It's like riding a biker." -Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

I relived a part of my geek past today. I ftp'd files today using the old school unix function. No gui's for this girl today. Just technodinosaurs in the hizouse today. Woo Hoo!


"Just a slob like one of us" - Joan Osborne

Walking to work on Friday I passed a man who said, "God talks to you all the time." I don't know if he was speaking to me, himself, or someone else. He didn't seem to have a cell phone or bluetooth with him. But there it is. Which somehow reminds me of the words from Walt Whitman:

"I find letters from God dropt in the street, and every one is sign'd by God's name,
And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoe'er I go
Others will punctually come for ever and ever."

Comforting if you believe that sort of thing.



Drinking on Mars

Smoked my second cigarette. I have taken a puff here or there. But yesterday for only the second time in my life I smoked a whole cigarette. I know not why. It was awful. I don't know how you smokers do it. The South and I were wandering about killing time before I went to see Xanadu-u-u. (The South politely declined to accompany me to that.) On the way to some bar or another we walked by this graffiti covered soon to be condemned looking place and peered through the door. We were backing away when an effusive young Albanian man gave us cigarettes and invited us to come in and hang out insisting that the Mars Bar is great. I smoked the cigarette he offered b/c I didn't want to be rude. It's dark crowded and beyond being a dive it was completely bombed out. Covered in graffiti and strange little pieces of art. But I kinda liked it. It brought back the memory of the Barclay house and the Myrtle Morgue and the Spazzatorium Galleria. And the regulars knew each other pretty well giving this dark chaotic scary place a strangely friendly feeling. The beers however were not cheap.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

1am count up

1.
Remember the boys in school who would give you a back rub that would turn into serious massage and when you seemed to be really relaxing they tried to transition into something - else? Someone reminded me of that whole strategy today. How could I forget.


2.
"How can our love succeed, a miracle is what we need. And so I appeal to yo-o-o-ou"
-Olivia Newton John

I am going to see the movie Xanadu at a midnight showing this weekend. A time machine taking me back to 1980. I am so psyched.


3.
I went to see "Stardust." A Fairy Tale so cute. There is much more to say on the subject but let us start there.


4.
I have had a few vegan meals this week. Fancy ones at that. Not bad. Not bad. I am surprised to feel very full when done eating. But for some strange reason, I am left feeling very full but craving cheese.

5.
Looked up CK's free will astrology horoscope and ran across this "Sacred Advertisement"

"Charles Darwin said the "survival of the fittest" is a central factor in the process of evolution. What exactly did he mean by that? He makes it clear in his book, The Origin of Species: "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change."

The quote of a quote is from Rob Brezsny. The bolding is mine, thank you very much.


6.
On my walk home tonight I kept hearing the Beatles song "Blackbird."

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive."

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free."

I am waiting for a moment. Sometimes I fear that it came a went without me.
Sometimes I wonder what I will be when it arrives.


7.
BRB

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Scrapbooking the tour

I looked up today and realized that this summer went by really quickly, as if it had never happened at all.

This summer, life had two modes - touring and not touring.
Which is odd considering that I only spent about 19 days existing in any kind of touring capacity this summer.

But there was the time spent prepping for touring. The time spent recovering from touring and the all things that I told myself I would put off until after I was done touring. Many of which I have conveniently forgotten.


I did not take video, audio or pictures on either tour. Or as E recently said, the pictures that I took from tour give a very oblique impression of what happened.

Taking in my performance through media I am definitely not as I imagined myself to be. For better or worse. I am a good deal dorkier.

We looked like this.

In motion we looked like this.

In interview and live rebroadcast, the band comes off like this.
I was the silent Beatle and then little miss shouts a lot.

If you saw me live I might have pushed my fist into your face or shoved you or crawled under your table or pretended to blow my nose on your shirt sleeve. I might have.



The East and West Coast tours were so different. Obviously in where we went and who we played with. They were also different in what I carried with me into the tour.

Around the time of the East Coast tour I was nursing psychic wounds - heartache, self-doubt, anger, frustration and disappointment. I couldn't let any of it go and it colored the whole experience on that coast. A lot of it was about the heartache.

And on the West Coast I had the self-doubt and the anger and the frustration but less heartache and a bit less disappointment.

I had recently had a conversation with a friend who was very concerned with turning 37. Which made me realize that I am going to turn 37 too and that in the Great Game of Life it may very well be too late for me to catch up to my peers.

And rather than despair I figure that I might as well stop worrying about it and get on with doing whatever I'm doing right now.

Added to that I was bathed in the reflected glow of DD having met this really awesome girl. It was so great to be around someone who was unabashedly googly about who he was with. Kinda restored my faith in wuv. They might not be writing songs of love for me. But I'm really glad they are being written.


On my return I am still using my outside voice indoors, speaking scatologically, swearing like a sailor, and feeling more than a little unruly - lingering traces like the scent on the sheets after he leaves.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Don't fence me in

Well Friends, last time I was touring the East Coast and this time I am touring the West Coast with the Mystechs. If you feel like it, come on out and say howdy, pardner.


8/3/07
Starry Night
Freedom & Central
Provo, UT 84601
8pm

8/4/07 sunny
Club Underground
555 E. 4th St. B
Reno NV 89512
9:30p 21+

8/5/07
Club Fred
1426 N. Van Ness Ave.
Fresno, CA 93728
8pm 21+

8/6/07
The Jumping Turtle
1660 Capalina Rd
San Marcos, CA 92069
8pm

8/7/07
Safari Sam's
5214 W. Sunset blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90027
8pm

8/8/07
Vega's Sports Bar
910 2nd st.
Sacramento, CA 95814
7pm

8/9/07
Diablo's Downtown Lounge
959 Pearl St.
Eugene, OR 97401
10p

8/10/07
Caterina
905 N. Washington
Spokane, WA 99201
9pm

8/11/07
Myrtle Morgue
210 Myrtle St.
Boise, ID 83702
9pm


www.mystechs.com
www.myspace.com/mystechs

Thursday, August 02, 2007

there's more pretty girls (and boys) than one

I think I might have discussed this with you before. I've certainly discussed this with BBFK before. I bring it up again because I was at the bookstore and ran across a book called "Chance: A Guide to Gambling, Love, the Stock Market and Just About Everything Else," by Amir D. Aczel. I had read it a few years ago. It's sort of a street level mediation on probability.

He has one small chapter in which he claims that probability can be brought to bear on the matter of finding Mr. / Ms. Right.

"How do we know when to stop looking and choose?" Aczel asks.

The answer that he says the mathematicians have come to is: "You will maximize your probability of finding the best spouse if you date about 37% of the available candidates in your life and then choose to stay with the next candidate who is better than all previous ones."

He claims that this is true in looking for the right house, or job or puppy too.

I am sitting here trying to remember who all I have dated. My memory is proving to be embarassingly weak. I have been alive for 36 years. I had a "boyfriend" in kindergarden and then nothing until about my senior year of high school.

Since the age of 17 I can recall going on dates with about 33 (?) people.
Some for the blink of an eye - some for over a year. It averages to about 1.7 people a year. Let say I live another 54 years. At that rate I might go on dates with about 91.8 more people. Making a total over my lifetime of 124.8 people.

37% would be about 46.17 more first dates.

So maybe 13.17 first dates from now (at my going rate that translates to about 7.75 years from now) when I am 43.75, I am going to need to start looking for the person I like better than the 46.17 that went before and ask that person to marry me.

Hopefully, that person will either be nearing their 37% point or foolish enough to allow themself to be overwhelmed by the force of my certainty that we are meant to be. Up to now this has not been the case. And hopefully this person will be interested in the option of adopting kids.

Having done these rough calculations it occurs to me that I have probably been on more first dates than I have listed here. And as I get older and stranger and wrinklier and saggier I might not manage to maintain my grueling schedule of 1.7 first dates a year. Maybe I am at 37% already or way past it.

Then again, it's good to take on the attitude that you don't want to settle. That what you want is to be with someone really neato, someone you like better than all the other people that you have been with up to this point. This would not be a terrible thing. It might even be a good rule of thumb to work with. For instance, when working your way past a bad break up.

On my to do list

Long long ago in my early 20's I dated a young poet scientist medical student. After being together for a while he turned to me after I said something disparaging about myself and said, "You really need to stop beating yourself up like this. There are any number of people out there who are eager to do that job for you." He was so right.

To beat yourself up does not prevent others from beating up on you too. You end up twice bruised and more beaten down than you have to be. Because there are plenty of people out there who are more than happy to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.

You need that energy you have expended putting yourself down. You need that energy to take care of yourself and protect yourself in dealing with these people. You need that energy to be alert to the times that you are in those situations and to get yourself out.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Taxi Theories

The cab driver said to me, "There are two things that cost in a cab ride: Time and distance. You cannot change much about the distance that you travel. But you can do something about the time it takes to get there."

He argued that it is important to take traffic and construction into account during your cab ride.

"Each red light in Manhattan lasts about 52 seconds - about a minute. The difference between taking four stoplights and taking eight of them is about 40 cents."

His theory was that going that four blocks out of your way might actually save you time and money if it allows you to avoid a particularly difficult intersection or part of town because being stuck in gridlock for 30 minutes will cost you more in the end.

Time and Distance
Time and Money
Time and Memory

This was the most insightful cab ride of my life. I tipped the guy 30%. I should have tipped more.