Sunday, May 26, 2013

Food from heated rollers

It sounds much better than it is in practice.

But the woman behind the counter was all for it.  On a cold, windy night, curling up on the couch and watching movies while scarfing down taquitos that have been warmed all day for you by 7 / 11 is just another way to describe living the dream

I have had a fixation on corn in recent months.  Some nights I have corn chips for dinner.  Or popcorn.  Corn, I adore you, but you are so filling.  I get bloaty and then a few mintues later, I feel like I have swallowed a boulder.

I have also had a fixation on celery.  Celery is delicious.  For a while I was eating stalks and stalks of it.  I might have to pick up a bunch tomorrow.

Besides that, I have not really been thinking of food.  I just eat poorly.  But how can you resist food on heated rollers served with sour cream and spicy guacamole?

It was that or deep fried breaded cubes of macaroni and cheese.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Listage

1.  People have been asking me what my type is.  I used to think that it was boys on bicycles, physics majors, tall blonde guys, bass players, short muscular stocky dudes.  Today, I think it might be Irish-Jewish guys.  So if you know any between the ages of 28 and 48, send them my way.

2. Day drinking is so painful.  How ever did I manage to survive it all this time?  And how did day drinking go from being a secret shame to the hot social thing to do.

3. I saw the Cirque du Soleil show, Totem.  My very first Cirque du Soleil show ever. WOW.  They had a human disco ball.  It is inspiring to see what a human can accomplish.  Magical and impossible things.  You have to see it so that you can believe it.

4. I am encountering menfolk of late who refuse to use soap, shampoo or deodorant.  They think that personal hygiene products are a scam.  They trust in the natural oils that their bodies produce.  They think that said personal hygiene products smell weird and artificial like plastic.  I wish they would reconsider so that I could stop holding a perfumed handkerchief to my face.

5.  People keep asking me if I am still making music.  I am not.  I'm not exactly sure why.  But I am completely blocked.  I've been trying to articulate why to myself and to other people and can't come up with anything.  I don't know why I have not.  Perhaps because I am unhappy in love.  But that does not make sense.  Firstly, I am not in love.  Secondly, it used to be that when I was unhappy in love, it was excellent motivation for making music.  Not avoiding it.

6. I went to a reading of novelizations.  If you don't know, a novelization is a book that is created based on a movie that was not based on a book.  I have not read a novelization in a very long time.  But I remember reading a handful of them as a kid.  Fame, Pretty in Pink, and my absolute favorite, Desperately Seeking Susan.  I actually count the novelization of Desperately Seeking Susan (by Susan Dworkin) to be at least as central to my formative years as Pride and Prejudice, the TV show Fame, and the movies: Singin' in the Rain and Meet Me in St. Louis.

The readings were done in a highly dramatic and hilariously mocking style.  The organizers described the audience for such books to be for people who were too poor to be able to buy a VCR, who didn't have cable TV.  They forgot one extremely important demographic.  Teenagers who were too young to get in to see rated R movies.

7. Wearing an corduroy A line dress in chilly, windy weather without tights will give you a sense of what it would be like to walk around half naked, because you are, literally, walking around not wearing pants.

Catching up with old friends

“In my twenties, I pretended I wanted a long-term relationship but just kept picking wolfmen by mistake.  In my thirties I thought my marriage phobia was something chronic I needed to get cured of, like back pain or herpes, but now that I‘m almost fifty I suspect freedom is a secret pleasure girls born in the sixties won’t fess up to.”
 - Pam Houston, Contents May Have Shifted
I was introduced to Pam Houston by a friend named Pam many years ago.  Having recently decided that I need to spend more time reading books and ran into a new novel by Ms. Houston.

I had forgotten what it's like to commune with a poetic soul and to observe and describe the details of your life as a thing of beauty.  What the hell have I been doing with my life that would allow this to happen?

Added to that, it made me laugh out loud on my morning commute.  Which hasn't happened in a long time.

It was like swapping relationship war stories with a long lost friend  who, thankfully, has not changed in the ways that matter and has survived the years whole-souled.

Listorama

1. There is a street in Brooklyn that crosses Atlantic Avenue called "Hendrix Street" which is pretty badass.  It is not full of butterflies and zebras or castles made of sand or purple hazes, at least not yet.  Perhaps someday, someday soon.

2. When flying from the States through Heathrow airport to another destination or through Heathrow back to the States, be sure to arrange for a 2-3 hour layover.  I had to take a bus or a tram to switch terminals, run/speed walk long corridors, go through a security check, have someone inspect my passport, my boarding pass or get a boarding pass issued.  I made it.  But I was winded, sweaty and more than a little anxious.  I did not get to get snacks or a bottle or water or go through any of my usual travel rituals.

3. Is it just me or does the movie Wreck It Ralph seem like something cooked up by a bunch of 40-something stoners?  That being said, it was extremely enjoyable.

3. I finally saw Les Mis.  It's possible that Russel Crowe and the person who cast him should both be horse whipped.  Wolverine's performance was uneven but very passable.  The music is just so good, it makes up for a lot.  Amanda Seyfried sang really high.  Whoof.  Cosette is a tough role, in that her role is to be the object of love and devotion.  She doesn't have an awesome song of her own once she is grown up and she is never allowed to express much in the way of meaningful emotion or personality once she is grown up.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter did a fine job.

Anne Hathaway TORE IT UP.    Wow.  The shots from the trailer for the movie were amazing but the extended section that is in the movie is intense.  I can't believe that she could sing like that while crying.  I actually hope that the actual sound on the film set was not what was used in the soundtrack. Because if not, it makes me ill to think of how much vocal control she had while singing.  Makes the whole movie worth it.

My friends have massive crushes on Eddie Redmayne.  But I've got it for Aaron Tveit who looks mighty fine with longer hair.

It kinda bothered me that everyone had a British accent.  If they can't have French accents, the very least they could do is come up with something not British to say.

As I watched Russell and Wolverine wail at each other, I kind thought, I would really like to see an all African American cast perform Les Mis.  I think because I would love to watch an all black cast sing "Red and Black" and "Do You Hear the People Sing."


Thursday, May 02, 2013

Both human but not the same sort of animal

The quote was "I was already drunk before I met you."

He may have assumed that this was said by me as a prelude to sleeping with someone new.  He replied with his own quote: "Most people start new sexual relationships while they're completely drunk. But you wouldn't shop for a toaster that way."

If that was his assumption, he was mistaken.  It was a comment made by a very charming new acquaintance met at a very enjoyable dinner outing.

My reply was that I would probably have bought a much prettier and nicer toaster had I bought my toaster while drunk.

I did not say, "If you are suggesting that something lurid happened, enough with your stupid, insulting assumptions and insinuations, you judgmental ill-informed prick."

When I finally build that time machine, I will be ever so busy.

Besides which, were it not for drunken sex, some of us would have no sex at all.  I suspect that human race would have gone extinct eons ago.