Long long ago in my early 20's I dated a young poet scientist medical student. After being together for a while he turned to me after I said something disparaging about myself and said, "You really need to stop beating yourself up like this. There are any number of people out there who are eager to do that job for you." He was so right.
To beat yourself up does not prevent others from beating up on you too. You end up twice bruised and more beaten down than you have to be. Because there are plenty of people out there who are more than happy to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better.
You need that energy you have expended putting yourself down. You need that energy to take care of yourself and protect yourself in dealing with these people. You need that energy to be alert to the times that you are in those situations and to get yourself out.
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