*I got paid. Thank God! I kiss the ground in gratitude. I can pay rent and all those parking tickets and get a haircut and buy some shoes and slow my ever increasing credit card debt*
I compared paychecks with someone today. He is getting paid more than I am but not by much. He points out that he is working much more than I am. Very true. And I feel bad about this.
It is not fair. I get paid more because my field draws more students and money because everyone wants to be a medical doctor when they grow up because there will never be a time when people are happy to be sick and never be a time when people are not afraid to die. Provided you can pay your malpractice insurance business is always good.
In any work situation or volunteer situation (even relationships) people are always comparing in this way to see who is working and who is not and who is working more. It gives you something to complain about and a list of people to hate and resent.
It is "the lazy grasshopper and the industrious ants" story. In any given situation there are people who doing nothing and reap great benefits off the considerable effort of others. It is not fair. And it pisses people off.
Sometimes it seems petty to me. But it's understandable. They wish that they were getting more while doing less. They resent doing the work of others along with their own. At the very least they wish everyone was pulling their weight and that they didn't have to pick up the slack left by slackers. It's not fair. They don't slack because if they did no one would be working and everything would go to hell. Which is probably true, who are we kidding here.
So at this moment I feel very bad that I am getting paid more when I am doing less. I feel bad that the world is unfair.
And because nobody likes to feel bad, I kinda secretly wish that I was a jackass. Because if I were a jackass I would not feel bad and I would not feel ashamed. I would acknowledge my luck and revel in it, prancing around doing a happy dance at my good fortune. (maybe deride others as suckers - that always seems to make people feel pretty good.) Knowing full and well that tomorrow my luck could change and the situation reversed. After all when winter came that grasshopper was screwed.
lesson of the day: there are compelling reasons that people don't talk about how much money they make.
2 comments:
don't feel guilty, in time karma will shift. Or maybe you were a real work horse in the past life and now are reaping the benefits. Maybe this other person was a grasshopper. Though its not clear who was getting paid more.
SFMD: I try to remember what my dad always said:
"They pay you too much considering the work you do but not nearly enough considering the work that you are capable of." This actually shouldn't make me feel better. I barely know what it means but somehow it does.
Jcrash: Can't call me Ms. Moneybags, yet. But you're right, giving back even in small amounts is a good thing.
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