Strangled

I have these dreams in which I get really angry about something that happens - an act of injustice great or small, an act of cruelty or inconsideration. I am upset and furious and I walk up to whoever has committed the wrong to confront them. I try to explain what they did and why it sucked and how much they suck for what they did. Sometimes it is a one on one interaction. Sometimes I stand up on a balcony perpared to confront huge populations. I do not cry as I might in real life. I know what I think and what I want to say.

In these dreams I choke on my own words. They stutter out haltingly, completely incomprehensible. They strangle, struggling to come out as a squeak or a whisper. I feel the strain and scratch on my throat like I am shouting or screaming. I keep trying. I pause, collect myself and try again and again to get the words out clearly. The audience looks at me puzzled and confused. Sometimes vaguely amused.

I wake up exhausted.

One night, My Guy shook me awake while I was having one of these dreams. When I asked him why he woke me, he said that I was screaming in my sleep.

I find this strangely comforting. To know that I did it in real life, even though I couldn't in the dream.