saving and cravings

For the past week or more I have been thinking about money. And feeling like I need to worry about my lack of it. Simultaneous and probably related to this I have been feeling horrible food cravings.

I get all kinds of impetuous notions about what I want. But usually in regard to purchasing things or food or drink - I can talk myself out of it for a spell. Sometimes long enough that I forget for extended periods of time.

This has not been of those times.

The money situation is actually not bad and I was fretting about the fact that it is not better. Fretting instead of acting. There's a lot of financial jargon out there. I think it's all there to obscure the facts. And for lack of one definition or another, I am mired in confusion. What I have started to notice is that the articles on money management and the pamphlets from the company that handles my 401k are remarkably specific about some of the factors that I should consider up until the part where they say I should invest the money in a mutual fund or stocks or something. And from there they get remarkably vague.

Which is a bit troubling because that is the part where your money is supposed to be doing something for you. That is the part where the risk is. That whole past performance is not an indicator of future returns - blah blah blah mess. Added to that I am getting the distinct impression that investing is about making money from debt. Well, okay so far in my web surfing investing seems to be about debt, the perception of the value of a thing and speculation on the future perception of the value of that thing. Such that a company can be making money and growing but be considered an utter disappointment because while growing and making money it performs below expectations.

And on the food side. I have craved and then gotten:

Fried chicken from Dirty Bird To Go. That's some damn good chicken. The buttermilk dipped aspect is a world apart from KFC (which I also love). Fried chicken with mac and cheese and broccoli.

A mango lassi, Saag Paneer, and Naan. I can think of few things as comforting.

Sticky toffee pudding ice cream from Haagen Dazs. The cake pieces are amazing. Because in ice cream form the cake bits are my idea of ice cream cake. Rich cake drenched in ice cream and then frozen. The cake pieces are not blended in, they are integral to the structure and consistency of the ice cream itself.

Raspberries are not in season and at the Farmer's Market they cost an arm and a leg. Would that I had more limbs to surrender.

Someone in a food lab somewhere has engineered a seedless personal sized watermelon. Even in this reduced form I eat it for days. Days of welcome fruity leftovers.

My last recent craving has not been fulfilled properly. I have been craving steak. The trouble is that I have not a clue what to do with red meat. So I bought a steak and fried it up. Had it with broccoli and a microwaved potato and a beer. Had I been watching Monday Night Football and grilled it - I would have been the very model of those strapping manly Midwestern fellas that I left behind. There are days where I miss them too. That's a different category of craving ....

The steak didn't do so well. But I am happy to report that my ability to make a gravy of the drippings has greatly improved. If I use chicken broth or cooking wine and avoid adding balsamic vinegar next time, I think I will be on to something very lovely.

The cravings have settled down for now. And the worries about money as well.
Of course, I had to spend money to accomplish this so who knows, this whole thing might just bounce right back at me.