Sunday, August 06, 2006

parting sucks my ass

My friend is leaving the country.
She saw me off at the train station and I did not say all those things that need to get said.


Have a safe trip.
I am happy for you.
Call me if you need anything!
I am going to miss you sooooooo much.
I love you
You better stay in touch or I'm gonna fly out there and kick ya.
and a million other things that don't even come to mind at this moment.

I didn't say them because I didn't want to start crying. And I didn't want her to start crying. She is not a cryer by nature (me, I cry at split milk.)

And I didn't want to start crying because I am really happy for her and I think this trip will bring her what she has been looking for. It is a cause for celebration not sadness. My loss is small compared to the net gains.

I didn't even get her a farewell gift or a card. Because in my current rootless state gifts look like a bunch of other crap that I need to store or cart around from place to place. Because I don't think a card exists that could express what it means to me to have her as a friend.

Used to be that nothing that happened in my life was real until we sat down and had a chat about it.

Even though our lives have changed and we have changed, I want to know this person until the day I die. And maybe I didn't say or do all of those things because I have an unshakeable faith that this a fact not merely something I want. That these things don't need to be said. There will be many occassions in the future to say them and so much more.

That being said, parting sucks my ass.

4 comments:

ldbug said...

Good friends don't need to hear all those things that are never said upon parting...they already know

That being said, what might mean a lot to her would be for you to send a card or something overseas to her saying how happy you are for her! Then she has something to start off in the new life from the old...

ergo said...

of course I would have to have her forwarding address to do that.

*slaps forehead* D'oh!

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

I'm crying now.
(I actually cried when we parted, too....even though, you're right-I'm generally a stoic type.)

Thanks so much, Babe. :) I will know you all your/my life. I felt so disconnected until I finally talked to you again...(you're the first one I connected with over the pond.)

*huge hug*

ergo said...

Aw dude, yer gonna make me cry too.

*hug*