Sunday, August 06, 2006

parting sucks my ass

My friend is leaving the country.
She saw me off at the train station and I did not say all those things that need to get said.


Have a safe trip.
I am happy for you.
Call me if you need anything!
I am going to miss you sooooooo much.
I love you
You better stay in touch or I'm gonna fly out there and kick ya.
and a million other things that don't even come to mind at this moment.

I didn't say them because I didn't want to start crying. And I didn't want her to start crying. She is not a cryer by nature (me, I cry at split milk.)

And I didn't want to start crying because I am really happy for her and I think this trip will bring her what she has been looking for. It is a cause for celebration not sadness. My loss is small compared to the net gains.

I didn't even get her a farewell gift or a card. Because in my current rootless state gifts look like a bunch of other crap that I need to store or cart around from place to place. Because I don't think a card exists that could express what it means to me to have her as a friend.

Used to be that nothing that happened in my life was real until we sat down and had a chat about it.

Even though our lives have changed and we have changed, I want to know this person until the day I die. And maybe I didn't say or do all of those things because I have an unshakeable faith that this a fact not merely something I want. That these things don't need to be said. There will be many occassions in the future to say them and so much more.

That being said, parting sucks my ass.

4 Comments:

At 2:37 PM, August 07, 2006, Blogger ldbug said...

Good friends don't need to hear all those things that are never said upon parting...they already know

That being said, what might mean a lot to her would be for you to send a card or something overseas to her saying how happy you are for her! Then she has something to start off in the new life from the old...

 
At 11:01 PM, August 07, 2006, Blogger ergo said...

of course I would have to have her forwarding address to do that.

*slaps forehead* D'oh!

 
At 7:29 PM, August 19, 2006, Blogger BeckyBumbleFuck said...

I'm crying now.
(I actually cried when we parted, too....even though, you're right-I'm generally a stoic type.)

Thanks so much, Babe. :) I will know you all your/my life. I felt so disconnected until I finally talked to you again...(you're the first one I connected with over the pond.)

*huge hug*

 
At 1:21 AM, August 22, 2006, Blogger ergo said...

Aw dude, yer gonna make me cry too.

*hug*

 

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