Scrapbooking the tour
I looked up today and realized that this summer went by really quickly, as if it had never happened at all.
This summer, life had two modes - touring and not touring.
Which is odd considering that I only spent about 19 days existing in any kind of touring capacity this summer.
But there was the time spent prepping for touring. The time spent recovering from touring and the all things that I told myself I would put off until after I was done touring. Many of which I have conveniently forgotten.
I did not take video, audio or pictures on either tour. Or as E recently said, the pictures that I took from tour give a very oblique impression of what happened.
Taking in my performance through media I am definitely not as I imagined myself to be. For better or worse. I am a good deal dorkier.
We looked like this.
In motion we looked like this.
In interview and live rebroadcast, the band comes off like this.
I was the silent Beatle and then little miss shouts a lot.
If you saw me live I might have pushed my fist into your face or shoved you or crawled under your table or pretended to blow my nose on your shirt sleeve. I might have.
The East and West Coast tours were so different. Obviously in where we went and who we played with. They were also different in what I carried with me into the tour.
Around the time of the East Coast tour I was nursing psychic wounds - heartache, self-doubt, anger, frustration and disappointment. I couldn't let any of it go and it colored the whole experience on that coast. A lot of it was about the heartache.
And on the West Coast I had the self-doubt and the anger and the frustration but less heartache and a bit less disappointment.
I had recently had a conversation with a friend who was very concerned with turning 37. Which made me realize that I am going to turn 37 too and that in the Great Game of Life it may very well be too late for me to catch up to my peers.
And rather than despair I figure that I might as well stop worrying about it and get on with doing whatever I'm doing right now.
Added to that I was bathed in the reflected glow of DD having met this really awesome girl. It was so great to be around someone who was unabashedly googly about who he was with. Kinda restored my faith in wuv. They might not be writing songs of love for me. But I'm really glad they are being written.
On my return I am still using my outside voice indoors, speaking scatologically, swearing like a sailor, and feeling more than a little unruly - lingering traces like the scent on the sheets after he leaves.