Wednesday, May 31, 2006

as seen through the eyes of another

AL and I got to talking about what electronic means we use to communicate and socialize.

Upon hearing about my presence on blogger, myspace, and livejournal and my myriad of email addresses he declared me to be a cyberslut.

I suppose the proper response to that is:

*giggle* *wink* *giggle*

There's a lotta web in this world

I have been asked about my favorite website.

I know that I should offer up something informative, good looking, simple to use, and full of meaningful high quality content.

But truth be told, I like this website

and I like this one too.


What's your favorite website?

Monday, May 22, 2006

The state of choice in our union

What would the U.S look like if Roe v. Wade was overturned? I got a glimpse into how things break down by state this weekend.

a. Bans:
This year 10 states introduced legislation to ban abortion -
Alabama, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Lousiana, Missouri, Mississippi, Ohio, Tennessee and, of course, South Dakota where citizens are gathering signatures for a petition to put their abortion ban to a statewide ballot. I wish them luck with that effort. People in South Dakota claim that 65% of them are pro-choice. We'll see if that is true.

b. Trigger Bans:
5 states introduced legislation to trigger an abortion ban if Roe v. Wade is overturned -
Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, and West Virginia.

11 states have existing trigger laws or bans on the books that could be enforced if Roe v. Wade is overturned -
Alabama, Arkansas, Delaware, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachussetts, Missouri, Montana, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.

I did not realize that such thing as a trigger law existed. Additionally, I have always thought of Illinois as a solidly pro-choice state. I learn new things every day. (every Saturday at least)

c. Pro-choice legislation:
4 states have existing legislation to protect a woman's right to choose in the absence of Roe v.Wade -
Hawaii, Massachusetts, Minnesota, and Rhode Island

7 states have statues that would protect a woman's right to choose in a world without Roe -
California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Maryland, Maine, Nevada and Washington

I guess Hawaii is making extra sure that they protect the right to choose.

d. The rest of the Union:
21 states have no legislation on the books or proposed for either position -
Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan. Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina North Dakota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Utah, and Wyoming

In some states the strategy against choice is to pass laws to restrict access to abortion to an ever smaller population of women and an ever narrower set of circumstances. That's the usual strategy in Missouri. It is a strategy that the Supreme Court upholds on a case by case basis.

The Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) (S.2593/H.R.5151) was introduced by Senator Barbara Boxer and Representative Jerrold Nadler to the Senate and the House. And for once the bill's name reflects its actual intent.

NARAL Pro-choice America can help you send an email to your Senator and Representative or you can send your own message. Need to looks someone up? Juan has a pretty nice site here.

I would like to see the abortion question get duked out on a national level as a national conversation. And I would like to see the United States make a choice for choice. The whole "let each state decide" thing sucks. (Ever notice that the questions taken up as matters of state's rights are charged and difficult like slavery and abortion. Are there any good issues that merit a defense of state's rights?)

If Roe v. Wade is overturned I have no doubt that the anti-choice factions know exactly what they are going to do on a state by state level. Have you given any thought to what will you do?

Or, what you could do now to affect what would happen then?

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Unnecessary "Napoleon Dynamite" post

I am the last person on this planet to see "Napoleon Dynamite." And I was prepared to be underwhelmed and bored by this awkward movie about some of the dorkiest people you'll ever meet.

It wasn't hilarious but I liked its particular mix of cutting caricature and sincere affection for its characters.

I suppose the popular kids like the movie because they enjoyed laughing at all the dorks. And an uber dork like me, I laugh because I see myself in them. I don't know why the rest of you foo's liked it.

Napoleon and his friends and family are afforded only small scraps of dignity in a hard world but they hold on to them fiercely and when they can't, they fake it. 'Cause y'know, what else are you going to do. They bounce back from beatings, disappointment, rejection, and humiliation and put their best front forward.

1)
"I see you're drinking 1%. Is that cause you think you're fat? Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted."

2)
(Me being me) I dig the killer dance sequence which has been broken down into easy to learn steps here.

3)
Deb is, like, the coolest flippin' female character in the recent history of film. I respect her. Something that I have not felt about a woman in film for years. Yes, she wears a fanny pack. Sure, she's not an world class hottie. Sure, she's shy and mousey. So what. Eye contact is way overrated. Our culture puts too much emphasis on the sticky eyeball.

She doesn't let any of that stop her from pursuing her dreams. She is entrepreneurial, a prolific crafter, a gifted glamour photographer, a fashion visionary, a good friend. She stands up for herself and she rocks the side ponytail like no one else.

Add to that, she's not too stuck up for a good game of tether ball.

4)
Alphaville and When in Rome? Be still my cholesterol clogged ancient heart!

5)
Even better was the instrumental music. Delish.

6)
I would love to have someone build me a cake on which they declare their love.

7)
It makes me slightly less afraid of the state of Idaho.

8)
"Everyone's a fucking Napoleon" - Ani DiFranco

9)
I don't understand Napoleon or his friends any better at the end of the movie than I did at the beginning. But he did grow on me. Even if he doesn't really have ninja skills or computer hacker skills. I cut him some slack 'cause my ninja skills are pretty rusty and it took decades to develop and then lose them.

*********add***********

10)
Politics would be much more lively and popular if you could hit a pinata shaped like your opponent.

Friday, May 19, 2006

tale telling

I recently read Anita Loos' Autobiography "A Girl Like I." She was quite a dame.

A screenwriter, playwright and author - an elegant lady who got her start around the time of the silent film era was taking off. She claims to be one of the first women to wear her hair in a bob and as a flapper, wit, international socialite and party girl, she knew everyone worth knowing for most of her life. You may be familiar with her as the author of the book "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" that became the Broadway play then musical then movie. She is lively on the page. And probably even more so in life.

She recounts talking with her maid about life in Harlem during the Renaissance. Her maid described how sometimes money would get so tight that someone in the neighborhood couldn't make rent. When that happened people would throw that person a rent party. Folks would gather bringing food, music, drink and a few dollars to help out. They would dance and party down 'til dawn and the next day there was rent money for the landlord.

I love this story. It shows such generosity and community. I like the idea that helping someone in need can be done with joy and compassion without the recipient feeling shame or stigma.

apologies to the mailman

I was sending a lot of packages for a while. I would get my number and wait in line for indeterminant amounts of time behind people exhibiting varying degrees of impatience - some with visible mounting fury.

Generally, I ended up at the counter with this one mailman. He's a pretty outgoing guy. He always made a point of asking me if I was working hard and what I do for a living.

And everytime, I lied. I said "I'm self-employed ..." "I freelance ..." "I'm in school ..." I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. I am a little lost. I am not doing anything. That's right I lied to the mailman. I am that low. I often wonder if he knows and if he feels free to lie in reply. (I hope he does.)

People look at me funny when I say I don't do anything. They are quick to take offense to such an obscenity. The harder they work the more offended they are. After all, they are running around like mad barely a moment to themselves as they struggle and strive and fight. Who am I to stop and smell the garbage on a sunny weekday? Clinton reformed the welfare system to force people like me to pull our weight and become productive members of society.

What can I say? As the playwright Larry Shue said in his funny funny play "the Foreigner" - "some of us were born to be a waste of food" and a burden on our loved ones.

I just.

I realize that I've been faking it. And it is a very difficult life pattern to break. People say that the best way to break that life pattern is to find my passion and go for it. Which makes sense. I am frightfully lazy and pig headed. If I am not persuaded that doing a thing is important, if I am not persuaded that a thing makes sense, I will not do it. That or I will drag my feet about it. The challenge at hand is to persuade myself which is no easy task. I am the skeptic, the cynic, the pessimist who laughs in the face of everything.

It is much easier to criticize than create. The prospect of creation terrifies me, frankly. So I am having trouble finding my bliss. It would be great to get some help but it's hard to ask not knowing what to ask for. Probably years of therapy to start.

I think of that line from Lloyd Dobler in that Cheese movie "Say Anything":

"A career? I've thought about this quite a bit sir and I would have to
say considering what's waiting out there for me, I don't want to sell
anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to
sell anything bought or processed or buy anything sold or processed or
repair anything sold, bought or processed as a career. I don't want to
do that. My father's in the army. He wants me to join, but I can't
work for that corporation, so what I've been doing lately is
kick-boxing, which is a new sport...as far as career longevity, I don't
really know. I can't figure it all out tonight, sir, so I'm just gonna
hang with your daughter."

Trouble is, from that point of view there's not much left. Except maybe saving souls if you buy into that worldview and you don't mind working for those corporations.

Some of my friends encourage me to just do something. They're kind of impatient with me. It's actually a great plan. Except that following that kind of advice is how I got here.

I suspect that this process never ends. It waits in the wings whenever I look up from what I am doing. I grow and change and my life changes and the task at any given point is to retailor my self and my life to each other such that it remains a fit. Maybe not a snug like a glove perfect fit but a enough of a fit to breathe and move and be.

As a first step in all of this, I stopped lying to the mailman and to everyone else that I meet. I confess to doing nothing. But in fact that is a lie too. I do a lot of things: I blog. I make lists. I sing. I teach myself how to play the great hits of the 80's on the guitar. I cook bland hi-fiber foods. I knit. I do yoga. I write. I call and email my friends. I campaign for reproductive rights and net neutrality. I do dishes and laundry. I think. I daydream. I loiter at groceries. I sleep - a lot. Every day I find something new to do. For now, I haven't figured out how to get paid to do any of them. I will have to figure it out soon. I think some of my fillings are crapping out.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

What your academic counselor didn't tell you

Jeanne Sahadi at CNN/Money lists three "Big jobs that pay badly"

Architect

Chef

and ... *drumroll*

Academic research scientists!

I had me a good laugh over that one. Really.

The beneficence of microbes

Many delicious things exist through the hard work of microbes:

Alcohol,


ganked from www.dap.ie

Yogurt,


ganked from www.vitacost.com

Cheese (glorious cheese),


ganked from www.wineandleisure.com


Kim-chi,


ganked from www.resepkita.com

and the staff of life, the door to my heart, the bulk at my belly - Bread


ganked from www.mothernature.com

Today I am attempting for the third time to make a yeast bread. Whilst I have great affection for the yeast they seem less fond of me. So far I get weak rise at best.

The dough is mixed, mashed, and sitting at the heat vent. And I pretend to ignore it in hopes that the yeast will see fit to rise. Oh mighty baker's yeast - Rise I say! Rise!

Jobs with Benefits

EF recently got a promotion from the kitchen to the bakery at the deli/grocer she works. (Yay!) As part of her benefits package, besides the raise and the health insurance they offered her a free gym membership. Groovy, eh? Apparently there are other companies who offer interesting compensations.

David Jacobson has a little piece in CNN's Money Magazine on the perks that particular places provide for their people.

Free beer, pet insurance, Corporate Chaplain support- yeah that's all very nice. The one that caught my eye was with Patagonia. Patagonia has an internship program whereby their employees can work full time for an environmental group of their choosing on the company's dime for up to two months.

I close my eyes and try to imagine BP or Shell employees getting paid time off to help clean up oil spills or preseve natural habitats or build schools in some of them countries where they drill for oil ...
... hmmm ... *beam* ...

Aww 'cmon, it could happen. *blinks widely* Life is full of surprises.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

The Telecom Industry and its Pimps

Mike McCurry (former Clinton press secretary ) is the chairman of the "Hands Off the Internet" a group financed by AT&T and BellSouth among others. Dan Mitchell at the NYTimes summarizes a recent comment by Mr. McCurry-the-favor-of-big-business at the Huffington Post as: "the telecomm industry just wants the Net to be governed by economics not government regulation."

Ah yes, a sentiment often echoed by every industry that likes getting government tax breaks, subsidies, and the benefits of publically funded basic research. The same industries that hate any form of government regulation.

Of course AT&T wants the Net to be governed by economics. If the Net is governed by economics, the wealthiest players get to call the shots. In this case that would be AT&T and BellSouth and Verizon.

The same companies who have been turning our phone records over to the NSA without so much as a by the way to us, the customers they supposedly serve.

"Hands off the Internet" is another of those political campaign the professes to do the opposite of what it intends like the "Clear Skies Act". It could be renamed the "Hand the Internet to the Telecomm Industry on a Silver Platter and kiss it goodbye."

Yoga and intentions

In any class, when we are trying to get into a pose that requires a spinal twist or one sort or another, there will be a few individuals that can not only put themselves in a twisted pose but can also loop their arm around to comfortably bind it. (!) And then there are the rest of us who attempt to follow instruction with highly variable results. The instructor will often say, "Setting the intention to twist is important. With time, the rest will follow."

This intention is different from my common associations with the word. Generally, intentions are thought of as nice thoughts that are not acted on. Or a well meaning pretext for acts with ineffectual or even harmful results. In this frame of reference, an intention is not really worth much. In contrast, my yoga instructors would suggest that intention is a valuable thing.

In yoga class, it is a thought, fixed in the brain, that accompanies an action. The thought and action are tied together in gentle and patient practice again and again with a belief that over time you progress closer and closer to an action that mirrors your intention.

Today, we turn slightly while carrying in our mind the intention to turn slightly more and over time we find that we turn further and further. Perhaps at some point, we turn enough to see ourselves.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Lest you forget

Lots of folks are rubbing their hands together with glee at the lowness of GW's approval rating. They take delight in the way Republicans are breaking rank and criticizing the administration. Some folks see it as a sign that the wall is tumbling down.

Not me.

GW is in his final term and Dick Cheney is not running so he's free to do as he pleases. The cynical in me thinks that he will do (as he has done) everything in his power to enrich his friends (the haves and the have-mores), stifle dissent, democracy, freedom, and free speech in this country. The man sees the world through green-colored glasses with dollar signs etched all over them.

As for the rest of the Republican Party, of course they distance themselves from GW! But be not fooled, it is likely to be an act of rebranding. Read the fine print. Check and see if they vote to appoint his nominees and pass his initiatives. 'cause talk is nothing. Votes - that's what counts.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

further rumination

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."

also quoted as

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -George Santayana

Maybe.

I don't think this quote applies to dating patterns. I know lots of people who get back together with their ex'es despite all the crappy things that happened. Crappy things that they have recounted to their best friends over and over and over again.

As for the greater theater of history. It seems like remembering is insufficient. After all, history serves as motivation (or pretext) for exacting vengance - retaliation in a self-perpetuating cycle of violent conflict.

Meditating on two self-help quotes:

"Self-esteem falls when you think everyone is winning except you."
-Richard N. Bolles

and

"Comparison is the seed of all despair."
-Murray Oxman

There's more to it than that but I think these two quotes offer a starting point that is a bit more useful than merely preaching the power of positive thinking.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

realizing how broad my generalizations are ...

In looking at any given situation you have the status quo people and the make a change people.

The status quo people
a) like the way things are
b) don't like the way things are but accept what they see around them as reality and as the entire sum of existential possiblity. They say "That's the way it is and there's nothing you can do about it."
c) don't like the way things are but want to be sure that everyone suffers as they did. "Yes, it's a stupid and wasteful and painful way to do things but y'know that's how I had to do/did it and that's how you should do it too."

The make a change people
a) struggle trying to persuade others and drag them into doing things differently.
b) have some idealized version of reality they are trying to bend the world to match.
c) are never satisfied.

I can't tell is which kind of person is happier.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

parachute shopping

According to "What Color Is My Parachute 2005" by Richard Bolles,

the worst ways to hunt for a job are:

1. Using the Internet. 4%
2. Mailing out resumes at random. 7%
3. Answering ads in professional or trade journals in your field. 7%
4. Going to places where employers pick out workers. 8% (I don't get this one like a street corner?)
5. Taking a civil service examination. 12%
6. Asking a former teacher or professor for job-leads. 12%
7. Going to the state/federal employment service office. 14%
8. Answering local newspaper ads. 5-24%
9. Going to private employment agencies of search firms. 5-28%

The best ways to hunt for a job are:

1. Asking for job-leads from: family members, friends, people in the community, staff at career centers - at your local community college, of the high-school or college where you graduated. 33%
2. Knocking on the door of any employer, factory, or office that interests you whether they are known to have a vacancy or not. 47%
3. Using the yellow pages to identify subjects or fields of interest to you in the town or city where you want to work, and then calling up the employers listed in that field to ask if they are hiring for the type of position you can do, and do well. 69%
4. Doing the same as 3. only in a group. 84%
5. Doing a Life-changing Job-Hunt. 86% (Whatever that is. I'll bet the rest of the book explains it.)

Essentially chance favors the bold. Shy people who use no interaction/no contact methods need to have 12-21 times more determination/persistence.

With more methods used your likelihood increases, but only up to 4. Over 4 and your likelihood starts to drop.

I shared a bit of this info with My Guy, who was underwhelmed by my discovery. He already knew this stuff.

*sigh*

The number of things that I don't know and I have no clue how to do is a list that spans from here to the moon. Several times.

It's true that no one is going to answer a question that I have not asked. And the world is not filled with mind readers.
But gee willikers, I kinda wish that one of the over 8 million people who have bought WCIYP and all of their friends who have borrowed and read it would have said something to me at some point in my life.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude: pleasure taken from the misfortune of others.

Those clever Germans with a word for everything. The fact that this feeling would be common enough to get its own word says something very unflattering about human nature.

Along those lines I was on Skype with CE giggling over the HK and Yahoo personals, as a distraction from her annoying boy trouble.

Some were really icky. Some were dull. Some were funny. It's good to know that everyone likes to have fun, watch movies, and eat food. Except me, course. I am very anti-fun. Ask anyone.

There was one personals ad in which a fella made a point of saying that he was "not about doing anything in a conservative way." We *cough* each independently concluded that this was code for "Likes backdoor action."
(Did we over react or does that sound about right to you? Minds in the gutter. Maybe he rides a unicycle to work or wears his baseball cap inside out.)

And then in the midst of all of this snarking and mocking there were the ads that took the ark right out of our snark. Ads so adorable, so vulnerable and sweet and hopeful that we feared for the well-being person posting. We just hated to think of these people dying alone or ending up with someone cruel and unfeeling.

Of course these people might be axe murderers who barbeque puppies. You just never know.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

always the last on board (crosspost)

Just heard audio of Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Amy Goodman played most of it at the tail end of Democracy Now.

He was hilarious.

"... To sit here at the same table with my hero George W.Bush to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming somebody pinch me. Y'know what, I'm - I'm a pretty sound sleeper. That may not be enough, somebody shoot me in the face..."

transcript.

By the By

The new telecom act is called COPE Act of 2006 (Communications Opportunity, Promotion and Enhancement Act of 2006).
It passed through the House Energy & Commerce Committee and does little to provide Net Neutrality protection.
Rep Ed Markey from Massachusetts offered an amendment to establish real Net Neutrality. It was defeated in committee. There's a map that will tell you whether your representative voted against Net Neutrality in committee. (I love the map)

From the great states of MO and IL,

these folks voted against net neutrality:
MO - Representative Roy Blunt: 202-225-6536
IL - Representative John Shimkus: 202-225-5271
IL - Representative Bobby L. Rush ( a sponsor of the act): 202-225-4372

this person voted for net neutrality
IL - Representative Janice Schakowsky: 202-225-2111

The COPE act will come up for a vote next week. If you need contact information for your congressperson click here. Y'know, if you've got something to say.

Ganked from the Save the Internet website:

"Isn't the threat to Net Neutrality just hypothetical?

No. So far, we've only seen the tip of the iceberg. But numerous examples show that without network neutrality requirements, Internet service providers will discriminate against content and competing services they don't like.

-In 2004, North Carolina ISP Madison River blocked their DSL customers from using any rival Web-based phone service.
-In 2005, Canada's telephone giant Telus blocked customers from visiting a Web site sympathetic to the Telecommunications Workers Union during a labor dispute.
-Shaw, a big Canadian cable TV company, is charging an extra $10 a month to subscribers in order to "enhance" competing Internet telephone services.
-In April, Time Warner's AOL blocked all emails that mentioned www.dearaol.com — an advocacy campaign opposing the company's pay-to-send e-mail scheme.

This type of censorship will become the norm unless we act now. Given the chance, these gatekeepers will consistently put their own interests before the public good.

Won't more regulations harm the free Internet? Shouldn't we just let the market decide?

Writing Net Neutrality into law would preserve the freedoms we currently enjoy on the Internet. For all their talk about "deregulation," the cable and telephone giants don't want real competition. They want special rules written in their favor.
Either we make rules that ensure an even playing field for everyone, or we have rules that hold the Internet captive to the whims of a few big companies. The Internet has thrived because revolutionary ideas like blogs, Wikipedia or Google could start on a shoestring and attract huge audiences. Without Net Neutrality, the pipeline owners will choose the winners and losers on the Web.

And when the network owners start abusing their control of the pipes, there's nowhere else for consumers to turn. The cable and telephone companies already dominate 98 percent of the broadband market. Only 53 percent of Americans have a choice between cable and DSL at home. Everyone else has only one choice or no broadband options at all. That's not what a truly free market looks like. "

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Talk is not cheap

Years ago, I changed my long distance provider from AT&T to SBC a choice that made me very happy overall. And then AT&T bought SBC so I'm back where I started. My cell phone service is through Cingular which also merged with AT&T.

I called CE in Hong Kong on my land line. 39 minutes for $199.65. Without tax and fees, the call was $4.40/min. This is why people buy calling cards. This is why people use Skype. This is why I am planning to throw out my phone and buy a dozen carrier pigeons. This is why I need to buy a pair of tin cans and a really really long string that reaches from here to Hong Kong.

Total moron move. Everytime I think I learn the "watch the time and mind your phone bill lesson" I do something like this and eat peanut butter sandwiches for another month.