Friday, April 28, 2006

hello world

Today is my Blog-iversary. *confetti* One year of bloggy goodness between us. *more confetti*

I have three other blogspots, two myspace accounts, two livejournals, and a friendster account. But this is the place I call my home. I dislike the whole "friend" dynamic on myspace and livejournal. The associations with the word friend are just too strong for me. I get unnaturally excited at the prospect of making "friends" and excessively hurt at the loss of "friends." I like to give my friends the option to visit me of their own accord.

The one thing I wish I could do here is reply to comments and have that reply sent to the commentor in question(like in livejournal).

Originally, I had wanted to do something special for this occasion.

See, I am very bad with committment.
My life resume is a list of short relationships, abandoned hobbies and projects, self improvement programs, diets, exercise fads, long lost friends - a veritable boulevard of deserted dreams.

My longest relationship to date was 1 year and 8 months. That was a continuous stint with none of that break-up kiss other people then make-up stuff so common these days. {JR and I circled each other on and off (mostly off) for about 5 years. That is another story}

My longest career path was 12 years in science and I have been sitting in neutral for 6 months now trying to figure out whether to continue to proceed that way.

A year of blogging is a pretty momentous thing for me. If I flossed this regularly my gums would be so much healthier.

I considered doing post every hour for 24 hours. I considered doing one long post for the entirety of the day, a la "Ulysses." I thought of posting a self portrait done in ketchup and mustard on a paper plate or naked baby pictures. But of course those ideas were all put off until it was too late. So all you get is this lousy post. Next year I'll come up with a game or something. Maybe I can get Veuve Cliquot to sponsor my birthday next year and have a downloadable coupon .... *snort*

I have tried to google my way here and found that it's super hard to find. When you start your blog make sure your title is catchy and unique enough to get you hits. Using your real name might help. My real name is common enough that you end up in very not me places.

As afar as I know I've got ten readers and 503 people who have peeked at my profile to confirm that I am one strange giraffe. I don't have any of the stats software that would tell me who's stopped by and how many times. (even though I'm dying to know) Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for commenting. Thanks for giving a damn.

To all the people to my right, I stop by your blog every day. I don't usually comment because I don't have anything smart enough or relevant enough to say. Were I to comment I'd just say "Hi! I'm out here and I'm reading. I love this post."

There's been some talk about Net neutrality and the internet which I encourage you to pay close attention to. Because there's telecom folks who want to make a pretty penny taking control of the internet. They aim to charge people to send information over the internet. In particular they want to charge large wealthy corporations. In exchange whatever these corporations want to transmit over the internet will get priority and be sent at the fastest speeds. The rest of us slobs will be relegated to the slow lane. These large wealthy corporations are drooling at the opportunity to stream movies and television shows over the internet. They would rather not pay a lot for the chance to do it, but I'll bet they like the idea that their "content" would get priority. They look forward to a future in which mainstream media gets to shovel the same shit down your throat as they do on the television, radio, in the movies, and the print media. Interesting considering the fact that you are probably online because you can't find what you like or speaks to you out there in the mainstream.

Already there are signs that telecom corporations want to decide what content travels through their networks. Will this extend to the way they run the internet? Will this extend to the kinds of conversations we can have on our phones?

JB says that it used to be that all radios could transmit and receive signals. It was peer to peer. The federal govenment stepped in and started granting licenses and now we all own receivers and Clear Channel owns the a big chunk of the airwaves from which they like to organize rallies in support of the war in Iraq. Can you imagine what you would be hearing if every radio in America could broadcast its own station? Wait, you might since you can do that right now with the internet.

People thought that the internet would end the world, that no one would leave the house and society would disintegrate. But what we find instead is that we use the internet to make contact with each other. Email, blogs, forums, message boards, IM - their popularity demonstrates that our deepest interest in this medium is to communicate and exchange information with each other. Not enrich telecom corporations.

what shakes out when you don't follow the news.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

grilled cheese + late night =

J said that her mother refused to vote for Kerry because if she did "Robots would take over the earth."
How cool would that be. I love robots. Who doesn't love robots?

I got a free CD because I wore a crazy patterned shirt and I smile too much.

The social skills that I posses appear to be a figment of my imagination.

In my time of deep hermitage, I find that ghosts from my past keep me company. The most painful apparitions are of myself. What an idiot I was and have been and probably still am.

Whenever Z posts on her LJ it is poetry. And I realize how much it is missing from my life. And I wonder if it is like a season that will return or if it is gone like yesterday.

----

The thing about the arts in the States is that the artists starve doing it. And because they do, their work gets twisted around lack and hunger.

The thing about the States is that the number of us that literally starve is comparatively low.

The thing about the States is while we display caloric wealth on our person, our souls starve, consuming us from within. There's plenty of God and there's plenty of goods but still something is missing.

It is an awareness that our society and economy is currently designed to make most of us silent, passive, obsolete and irrelevant. And that = hunger.

With material wealth there comes a point at which having more brings diminishing returns in the happiness question.

But the knowing has not stopped me.
From wanting.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

from drip to dreamboat

It's funny how you think one thing about a guy and then with a shift in the light everything looks different. Bill Pullman has had an entire career of being the handsome drip who never gets the girl. Drip drip drip. And then he gets paired with Sandra Bullock in "While You Were Sleeping" and the light shifts. Suddenly, he's handsome, approachable, and appealing. Bill Pullman, reflected in the eyes of Sandra Bullock, is a dreamboat. And the look of longing that passes across his face at the sight of Bullock could just wring your heart. The drip was dried.

Jimmy Fallon has never held much of an appeal for me. Lame-o schmucky funny guy. But there was a hint of more. When he did the Weekend Update with Tina Fey there was a hint of something more. My attention was mostly on Ms. Fey but there was no denying her great rapport with a cute and playful Jimmy Fallon. The two of them were in cahoots up there and having a blast. There's potential in a guy who so clearly enjoys the company of a smart funny woman.

I just watched "Fever Pitch" a romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon, and the Boston Red Sox. The light has shifted. Fallon reflected in the eyes of Barrymore is dreamy and delightful and funny. Barrymore and Fallon have a great connection onscreen. He's funny as opposed to over the top or weak. In this movie he gets it just right.


*swoon*

Barrymore seems to shed a very appealing light on funny men. She did it for Adam Sandler, twice. The "Wedding Singer" was too treacly for me but "50 First Dates" allowed Sandler to express comic rage and frustration while showing love and devotion above and beyond reason - funny and very romantic. Barrymore radiates a sunnyness and quirkiness that is entirely disarming, as the song goes, like she'd be so easy to love. An edgy comic can soften up in her presence without reproach. And the audience buys into the idea that this girl totally gets and loves the idiosyncracies of a wacky guy.

JDA who was a major player in his time, told me that cute is much more approachable than gorgeous. Cute can get you pretty far. Same with funny. Funny can get you pretty far.

In most situations a little bit of funny (like anchovy paste) goes very far. When Jimmy Fallon turns the funny dial back from 11 to about a 5 - he's so entirely jumpable.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

vocab building

I ran across this book that was entitled something like : "100 words that a college student should know."

I was embarassed to discover that while I recognized about all the words. I had the definitions of a good number of them wrong. Worse, in some cases I thought the word meant the opposite of what it actually did. Time for me to snuggle up with Mr. Webster or Ms. Oxford English.

Today I learned that intrepid means brave or courageous. It's from the Latin: Intrepidus. in = not + trepidus = alarmed.

Reminds me of how FS was instructed by a friend in Austria to correct any grammatical mistakes that the girl made speaking English. To this she shrugged and said, "I don't know the grammar, I just speak the language."

For further english lessons, I refer you to Professor Fishlamp. =)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Elle #3

I am thrilled that the empire-waist is coming back into fashion.



I will dig one up and wear it with great happiness.

Elle #2

There was a breathtaking piece of writing by Erica Jong. I have always wanted to like Ms. Jong more than I do. And after reading the exerpt from her new book "Seducing the Demon: Writing for My Life," perhaps I can.

Here again, I gank. I cannot seem to stop myself. This quote goes out to all y'alls that write because you have to and to the book junkies. (You know who you are)



"Beware of books. They are more than innocent assemblages of paper and ink and string and glue. If they are any good, they have the spirit of the author within. Authors are rogues and ruffians and easy lays. They are gluttons for sweets and savories. They devour, lie, and always want more. They have sap, spirit, sex. Books are panderers. The Jews are not wrong to worship books. A real book has pheromones and sprouts grass through its cover."

-Erica Jong

Rock on Ms. Jong!

Elle #1

I gave up reading women's magazine at some point during grad school. After years of following Vogue, Mademoiselle, Glamour, Self, and Elle - My adored and beloved Elle.

Most of the time they were trying to sell me stuff, not just in the ads but everywhere from the reviews to the articles to the fashion spreads. Every issue said:

1. Y'know, you don't look as good as these 17 year old toothpicks. Poor you. Buy this cream/shadow/tonic/drink/gel/ballgown/etc. It's all you need to be beautiful.

2. Y'know, you don't look as good as these 17 year old toothpicks here's a new diet/exercise/surgery/treatment you really need to try.

3. Men. You can't live with 'em, you're nothing without them. Here's ten things you can do in bed or on the road or at home or on a trapeze or in conversation to make him love you. And it would help if you looked like a 17 year old toothpick. (see 1 and 2)

All this and so much more.

The other day my mom bought an issue of Elle and I read it. Like an Atkin's dieter left alone with a box of chocolate donuts.

There was an interview with Caitlin Flanagan. I have never read an article by Flanagan. So allow me to expound in utter ignorance. From what I can tell from the interview she is an excellent writer who abhors feminists and has a knack for making women feel like shit for not being good wives and mothers.

At one point the interviewer, Laurie Abraham, calls home and finds out that the pet gerbil has died and her older daughter is sad about it. She is in LA to interview Flanagan while her children are in Brooklyn. What can she do? She would like to be there to comfort her but she is working. She tell Flanagan about it and Ms. Flanagan is very comforting about the whole thing telling Abraham that her daughter will grow from the experience.

The interview goes on and at one point Abraham asks Flanagan if she still believes that "When a mother works, something is lost." To which Flanagan replies softly, "The gerbil's dead, and you're here."

If it was me, it would have taken every muscle in my body to keep me from slapping her. And I would have regretted not slapping her for the rest of my life.

Which must be her appeal to the New Yorker and the Atlantic Monthly. The ability to comfort and then stab with a dagger is a classic - she's that the toxic friend I once had who knew how to slyly yank the rug out from under me.

My brilliant and wonderful mother who stayed home and raised me, did so to the mantra of "Be independent. Have a career." In her day, career women and the intelligentsia made her feel like shit for staying home and not having a career. And here we are 30 years later and Caitlin Flanagan gets to turn the tables on them.

Bully for her.

So.

When are we going to stop making each other feel like shit?

Dale Peck makes a comment in his book "Hachet Jobs" (a deliciously nasty book of book reviews) about how political activism seeks to make itself unnecessary. Activism seeks to change hearts, minds, behaviors, and laws. The success of a movement is in the transition from the radical to the commonplace. But then what? On to the next change. In the case of feminism, people keep wanting to declare it to be a mistake and insist that we go back. We fight the same fights.

Somewhere in the critique of the choices of my mother and Flanagan's critique of feminists there must be a deeper synthesis than to yell from one side "Get a Job" and from the other "Take care of your own." One that could take us forward rather than endlessly tearing each other down.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Wikipedia Birthday meme

Go to Wikipedia. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year). List events that happened on your birthday. List some important birthdays and some interesting deaths. Post this on your blog.

(This is from Juvenilia's LJ. I had trouble narrowing things down. A lot happened on my birthday - which I suppose is to be expected.)

October 1

Events:
331 BC - Alexander the Great defeats Darius III of Persia in the Battle of Guagamela
1791 - First session of the French Legislative Assembly
1795 - Belgium is conquered by France
1811 - The first steamboat to sail the Mississippi River arrives in New Orleans, LA
1843 - the news tabloid The News of the World begins publication in London
1847 - German inventor and industrialist Werner von Siemens founds Siemens AGG & Halske
1869 - Austria issues the world's first postcards
1890 - Yosemite National Park is established by the US Congress
1891 - Stanford University opens it doors
1903 - Baseball: The Boston Americans play the Pittsburgh Pirates in the first game of the modern World Series
1905 - František Pavlík is killed in a demonstration in Prague, inspiring Leoš Janáček to the piano composition 1. X. 1905.
(It's gorgeous)
1908 - Ford introduces the Model T car.
1918 - World War I: Arab forces under T. E. Lawrence (aka "Lawrence of Arabia") capture Damascus.
1931 - The George Washington Bridge linking New Jersey and New York opens.
1936 - Francisco Franco is named head of the Nationalist government of Spain
1940 - The Pennsylvania Turnpike, often considered the first superhighway in the United States, opens to traffic.
1949 - The People's Republic of China is declared by Mao Zedong.
1957 - First appearance of "In God We Trust" on U.S. paper currency.
1960 - Nigeria gains independence from the United Kingdom.
1961 - East and West Cameroon merge as Federal Republic of Cameroon.
1961 - Baseball: Roger Maris sets new record for most home runs in a single season with 61, surpassing Babe Ruth's previous mark of 60.
1964 - The Free Speech Movement is launched on the campus of University of California, Berkeley.
1964 - Japanese Shinkansen ("bullet trains") begin high-speed rail service from Tokyo to Osaka.
1969 - The Concorde supersonic transport plane breaks the sound barrier for the first time.
1971 - Walt Disney World opens in Orlando, Florida, United States.
1975 - The Seychelles gain internal self-government. The Ellice Islands split from Gilbert Islands and take the name Tuvalu. Thrilla in Manila: Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Frazier in a boxing match in Manila, Philippines.
1982 - Helmut Kohl replaces Helmut Schmidt as Chancellor of Germany through a Constructive Vote of No Confidence.
1982 - EPCOT Center opens at Walt Disney World in Florida, United States.
1988 - Mikhail Gorbachev is named head of the Supreme Soviet.
2004 - Baseball: Seattle Mariners outfielder Ichiro Suzuki makes his 258th hit of the season, breaking George Sisler's 84-year-old single-season record.

Births:
1671 - Guido Grandi, Italian mathematician
1685 - Charles VI, Holy Roman Emperor
1730 - Richard Stockton, American attorney, signer of the Declaration of Independence
1881 - Willian Boeing, American engineer
1887 - Violet Jessop, Titanic survivor
1896 - Liaquat Ali Khan, first prime minister of Pakistan
1903 - Vladimir Horowitz, Ukranian pianist
1910 - Bonnie Parker, American outlaw
1914 - Daniel J. Boorstin, American Historian, writer, Librarian of Congress
1924 - James Earl Carter Jr. 39th US President
1924 - William Rehnquist, 16th Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court
1927 - Tom Bosley, American actor
1928 - George Peppard, American actor
1930 - Sir Richard Harris, Irish actor
1932 - Albert Collins, blue guitarist
1935 - Julie Andrews, British actress
1950 - Randy Quaid, American actor
1963 - Mark McGwire, Baseball player
1976 - Dora Venter, Hungarian porn star

Deaths:
1040 - Alan III, Duke of Brittany (poisoned)
1499 - Marsilio Ficino, Italian Philosopher
1574 - Marten Jacobszoon Heemskerk van Deen, Dutch painter
1985 - E.B. White, American Author
2002 - Walter Annenberg, Publisher and philathropist

Holidays:
Feast day of St. Therese de Lisieux
People's Republic of China - National Day Republic of Cyprus - Independence Day
Nigeria - Independence Day
Tuvalu - Independence Day

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Power yoga the MTV way

The kind and gentle yoga that I have been praticing seems to have already had some effects. I can touch my toes. I seem to play computer games better. I do not get impatient with other drivers when they cut me off or when traffic gets nasty. And I am developing this one muscle in my leg from excessive foot flexing.

But I have been meaning to transition to Power Yoga (also known as Flow Yoga, Vinyasa, and Ashtanga). CE swears by it as a really excellent workout. I borrowed the "MTV Power Yoga" DVD from the library. The backbend and floor stretching sections of the DVD are totally trashed. The rest of it is totally kicking my butt. I sweat buckets trying to keep up with the MTV hipsters. While I am familiar with most of the poses linking them together with the inhale and exhale of the breath is a different kind of challenge.

To get all that motion going the instruction is pretty focused on the poses. It offers an increase in heartrate and a different kind of mental/physical challenge as well but at the expense of (at least with this instructor) the poetry of being instructed to "open up like a flower in spring time" and the stillness of trembling in a pose for six breaths.

Slow down you move too fast

The past several times I've been in a public bathroom there's multiple stalls in which ladies neglected to flush in their rush to return to the outside world. I have been there myself. It's a bad place to be. You get so worked up about what you're doing and what you have to do that you barely had time to answer nature's call before rushing back into the fray.

Flushing is a courtesy to others and a kindness to yourself. Flushing is basic to the entire bathroom routine and if you are too frazzled to remember it, you need to start thinking about what you're doing with your life. Because the number one andd two business is not a place to cut corners in your busy schedule. Do that in some other part of your daily routine.

I've been in bathrooms with signs on the stall doors that read: "Don't forget to flush." I might start putting them up myself along with the sign that reads "Did you wash your hands?"

Strangled

I have these dreams in which I get really angry about something that happens - an act of injustice great or small, an act of cruelty or inconsideration. I am upset and furious and I walk up to whoever has committed the wrong to confront them. I try to explain what they did and why it sucked and how much they suck for what they did. Sometimes it is a one on one interaction. Sometimes I stand up on a balcony perpared to confront huge populations. I do not cry as I might in real life. I know what I think and what I want to say.

In these dreams I choke on my own words. They stutter out haltingly, completely incomprehensible. They strangle, struggling to come out as a squeak or a whisper. I feel the strain and scratch on my throat like I am shouting or screaming. I keep trying. I pause, collect myself and try again and again to get the words out clearly. The audience looks at me puzzled and confused. Sometimes vaguely amused.

I wake up exhausted.

One night, My Guy shook me awake while I was having one of these dreams. When I asked him why he woke me, he said that I was screaming in my sleep.

I find this strangely comforting. To know that I did it in real life, even though I couldn't in the dream.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Protest Songs

There were days when AG or I would protest at the amount of unfair teasing we were getting from the other by singing "We shall overco-o-ome" hand over heart, eyes to the sky. Hearkening back to the civil rights movement and the anti-war protests.

I have asked myself if I have heard any good protest songs, lately.

I went to a Unity March in which we all sang Bob Marley's "Get up Stand up." - "you can fool the people sometimes but you can't fool all the people all the time."

Jimmy Cliff's "The Harder They Come" is also a good one. "I'd rather be a free man in my grave, than living as a puppet or a slave."

The Tom Petty Song "I Won't Back Down." is a good one - "Well I know what's right. I've got just one life, in a world that keeps on pushing me around but I'll stand my ground."

I have dearly imagined scenario in which hundreds of pro-choice people at a rally sing "My Country 'tis of Thee" or "Jesus Loves Me" at throngs of counter protester.

And then today I watched a chick flick called "Life or Something Like It." Which has some very interesting work from Angelina Jolie in an unflattering bleach job but is a leave your ambitions and career for that snarky slacker guy in flannel slow down and smell the roses kind of movie. That aside, she gets a group of protesting transit workers to sing "I can't get no satisfaction." Not bad.

Got any suggestions?

poop post - crosspostage

I stumbled across the poop report

They've got this article about using poop as an energy source. Methane for electricity in San Fran. A group in Japan has found a way to apply pressure and heat to poop and convert it to gasoline. Amazing.

Welcome to the Thunderdome.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

boozy chewy oatmeal cookie?

I wish that I could afford cable TV. For one reason: I LOVE the Food Network. My Guy and I paused on the channel for the last 8 minutes of "Good Eats" this past weekend.

Alton Brown was doing a segment on how to make a chewy cookie. (My answer has always been to throw the cookies in a plastic container while still warm.) We tried two of his suggestions:

More brown sugar - brown sugar attracts moisture to itself so altering your white to brown suger ratio will help with chewiness. (using molasses probably would too but then you have to concern yourself with that distinct molasses flavor.)

Less egg white - egg whites have a drying effect. Skewing your yolk to egg white ratio towards yolks will make for more moist-osity.

Additionally, we added a touch less flour.

We made these three alterations to a back-of-the-container Oatmeal cookie recipe (with chocolate chunks and a splash of kahlua, bailey's, or rum. We thought a chocolate rum raisin oatmeal cookie might be kind of cool. The boozes and their flavoring baked away. But as Mr. Brown promised, the cookies were moist and chewy.

Halfway there.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

a pleasure

Racing down the road in the car (burning non-renewable fossil fuels and emitting carbon di- and mon-oxide) on a warm spring day (one of the first of the season) radio blasting the songs of my youth and age: Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Glass Tiger, The Beatles, Beyonce Knowles. Songs too stupid to confess to myself or anyone else the hum of joy, pure joy offered by the combination of music and motion. An overflowing feeling.

Dancing ridiculously in the car alone while zipping towards the horizon where the land meets a blue blue sky stacked full of thick fluffy clouds - brilliant and big, endless. One hand on the wheel, singing along to above mentioned songs.

Full of life and invincible and fabulous and free. The world is wide open and anything is possible.

It fades, of course. It cannot last. I exit left to enter a land of dust and wind and the smell of pig shit. I have arrived.