Late night blurtletts, other people's words, and edits
"I been up, I been down
Take my word, my way around."
Happy Novel Writing Month. 1667 words a day for one month. I thought I had two plots to choose from for this month. It turns out that I was all set to write "Don Quixote" or a novelization of "Unbreakable." So now it is November and like last year, I've got nothing. I felt like a great big nothing. But the email that Chris Baty sent out to all of us nanowrimo-er's cheered me up considerably.
"Novels are not written by novelists. Novels are written by everyday people who give themselves permission to write novels. Whatever your writing experience, you have a book in you that only you can write. And November is a beautiful month to get it written."
While I do not like the Rod Stewart cover I have always liked the Tom Waits song "Downtown Train."
"Outside another yellow moon
has punched a hole in the nighttime"
So gorgeous. So lovely. So unlike much of his work.
But now, living in NY my frame of reference is shifted.
"The downtown trains are full
Full of all them brooklyn girls
They try so hard to break out of their little worlds
You wave your hand and they scatter like crows
They have nothing that'll ever capture your heart
They're just thorns without the rose
Be careful of them in the dark"
Now that I am a brooklyn girl, I take offense. I do spend a fair amount of time on the downtown trains. It's how I get to work. But I like my little world. Were it not for the museums, a few friends, and my job I might spend a good deal less time on the trains and more time in my corner of the 5 burroughs. Mr. Waits, you can take your diss on brooklyn girls and sit on it. For four months I have been a brooklyn girl. My laugh triggers avalanches and my smile melts ice caps.
I have very positive associations with Halloween. I like dressing up and seeing other people dress up. It's an instant conversation starter. There are alwys parties and they are usually pretty fun. Added to that in my past Halloween was always a great time to meet cute boys when single. Many a boyfriend was met on a cold autumn night while in costume. Of all holidays, Halloween has always had the most hookup potential. (Thanksgiving usually has the least.)
Until now. There was no love connection on Halloween. Whatever "it" was that I used to have is apparently insufficient to captivate the men of NY. Or maybe I just haven't got "it" anymore. Perhaps I have merely misplaced it. Except with the creepy guys. I have had a few occassions in which I accidentally smiled at the wrong stranger and had to contend with creepiness or unattractive pushyness. Then again, creepy guys probably respond to anything with a pulse that makes eye contact.
"Once I had a love from the Georgia Pines who only cared for me
I wanna find that love of 22 here at 33
Got a heart on my right and one on my left and neither suits my needs
No the one I love is a way out west and he never will need me."
Oddly, while there was no love connection happening I got hit with the love bomb today. A warm feeling of love without a person to associate it with. It reminds me of an email I got once from ER* who said something to the effect that part of what made the breakup so hard was that he had all this love with no recipient, no object. No one to express it to.
In a bout of seasonal pavlovian-ity Halloween has triggered a free floating feeling of love. *slaps forehead*
*I tried to poach ER from another gal during his painful but civilized and friendly breakup which of course lead to their getting back together. I took a page from the "I'm there for you" episode of Seinfeld. After their reunion I feel a bit ashamed of myself. The attempt to poach a man in relationship limbo - pathetic.
"You don't know. How desperate I've become and it looks like I'm losing this fight"
Brad Will (36) was shot and died in Oaxaca City Mexico. He was an indymedia journalist and documentary film maker who went to see what was going on. He was shot by pro-government paramilitary folks. I would say more but it's kinda hard to figure out exactly what's going on down there. Poverty, corruption, oppression, a call for resignation, protests and strikes, a protracted teachers' strike, military and paramiltary action ... ? Which, I think, is why he went down there to begin with. Because there is serious stuff going on down there and there are important stories to tell.
"I came here to see some stuff for myself. Why leave the telling up to everybody else?"
RIP: Brad Will. I read the news and shed tears. In the face of great injustice and suffering that is insufficient, no?
What is required is action.