channeling Rob Brezsny
I am sure that you have heard of Freewill Astrology that strange and contorted weekly metaphorical food for thought which is fun to read but perhaps not so clear with the crystal ball predictions one usually associates with the field. Some weeks I read mine twice and still have no idea what it's trying to tell me. Right. So as we barrel towards 2006, the Year of the Dog, I thought I'd channel some of that Brezsny-ness out into the blog-o-sphere.
I have become the queen of late night (super late night) reruns. One of which is a super late night repeat of Oprah. Ah, the blessed Oprah. Oprah had a piece on a woman who with neurofibromatosis. Neurofibromatosis caused her to get tumor growths on her skin. One of them was malignant and grew rapidly. In a year the tumor grew to be 200 pounds. 200 pounds on a woman who weighed 120 pounds. 200 pounds!
Doctors all over the country told her that surgical removal of this tumor (resistant to radiation therapy) would in all likelihood kill her. At the same time having the tumor was also killing her. It was an immense strain on her body especially on her heart.
After searching and searching, she found a doctor willing to take the chance and perform the surgery. It took 18 hours to remove. She lost 50 pints of blood. She weighed 95 pounds after surgery and it took 2 years to fully recover. When asked why she risked the dangerous surgery she said that the tumor was preventing her from holding and playing with her little girl. She wanted to be a mom. She wanted her life back. And today she is free.
Hopefully you are not carrying a 200 pound tumor around, hopefully you are happy and thriving and striving but perhaps metaphorically, you are carrying something psychic-ly heavy and malignant. Something that you think that you can't live without, the loss of which you think might kill you. Something that has taken over your life and is preventing you from being who you are meant to be.
Let this be the year that you perform the extraction. Look around you for help from others and inside yourself for the strength to take the risk and remove that thing and take your life back. Find the beautiful person that you are without it. It won't be easy but it's your life, and Loreal would tell you, you are worth it.
*the new age self-help section of this blog is now closed, we now resume our reguarly schedule ranting*